byle, byle, byle & byle inc.

RIP Jack

2011-08-23T12:22:00.000-04:00

Hey, it's been awhile. I haven't had much to say (obviously) but the death of Jack Layton has weighed heavily on my heart. I read his letter to canadians this morning and am even more sensing a feeling of loss. Anyway, here are my thoughts with a link to Jack's letter. Rest in peace Jack, you were a good man and we miss you <3

Jack's Letter to Canadians

I know this has been posted a million times already but can you imagine writing a letter to your county KNOWING you'd be gone in a few short hours? Wow. There's no self-pity, no regrets, no bitterness. Says a lot about a man who was in the prime of his life and had come so far only to taste it for a short time before his own body ripped his future from him. wow.

I'm not sure if another politician had died if Canadians would be as united in their grief as they are with Jack. Interesting, and yet sad.

Maybe our leaders will learn from this, make themselves a legacy the way Jack did. I didn't ride the orange wave this past election but now that I'm here, I'm wondering what our country would look like if we voted on integrity rather than red, blue and orange...

Merry Christmas Lulu!

2010-12-23T22:47:00.005-05:00

Not to be outdone by your brother, you too are growing in leaps and bounds!

You say several words now, including "santa" just yesterday! Others include: no, yes, mama, dadda, juju and thank you. There are others but they happen without notice and I always am shocked when you do say them.

You also understand pretty much everything we say, although you would like us to believe otherwise... ahem.

You are 15 months old going on 16...years! YOU Miss Lu, are going to give us a run for our money. Your dad has already started talking about buying a gun and you have completely twitter-pated several men, including his union steward at work. The man brings you gifts and stops in with the express purpose to see you! Ok, he tells us it's to see Daddy, but we know who he's really here to see.

Lucy Jean. You are SO cute. Like, charmingly, sweetly SO cute. You charm anyone you meet and have the sweetest little smile and mannerisms. You love your little flannel blankets and carry then around the house snuggling them all day. You like to pretend to sleep on them, wear them as a shawl or head covering or just play hide & seek with them. You also just like to hold them to your face as you drink you milk or over your face as you fall asleep.

You love your brother. You call him Juju. You always want to play with him even if that means being his wrestle buddy. Considering he has about 20lbs on you, this is impressive. You giggle the whole time, loving the attention.

Conversely, You are a stinker. You wait for him to look away and then steal his favourite train, dinosaur or whatever else he's playing with and then you run! You are so cute as you toddle away as fast as you can giggling to yourself with a huge, mischievous grin on your face. He runs after you all upset but has now learned how to be (more) gentle when he reaches you and grabs his toy from your grasp.

You are a drama queen. Any upset is met with wailing and gnashing of teeth. Not being picked up is reason for a complete meltdown and heaven forbid someone is not paying attention to you when you want them to (which is pretty much all the time). Your favourite is to run up to me and screech, "MA MA!" to which I respond, "LU LU!" which generally appeases you.

You are a man-eater. I'm sorry honey, but it needs to be said. You put Nelly Furtado to shame. You flash a smile and the nearest male is putty in your hands AND YOU KNOW IT TOO! You are shameless. Like, shameless! At the store the other day you charmed every man that walked by and if they had the audacity to NOT notice you (gasp!), you let out a little yelp to alert them to your presence.

Oh Miss Lu, you are such a sweet addition to our family. You really bring us such joy and not a day goes by we don't swell with gushy lovey-ness for you and your cuteness.

Merry Christmas baby girl, we love you ♥

Merry Christmas Judies!

2010-12-21T13:13:00.004-05:00

Well, my babies are pretty much no longer.. babies.

This is a bitter-sweet time in a mamma's life as we love the independence but can't help but feel a sense of loss when our children don't need us like they used to.

Jude! You are going to be 3 YEARS OLD in two weeks! Where has the time gone? You are such a loving and vibrant boy. Very sensitive and passionate about everything!

I wish I could write down everything you say (and there's a lot of it) because each new day brings new words and sentences and opinions! You have opinions, and you verbalize them! Lately, you've started calling people "honey". It is beyond cute and is such an insider look into the sweet boy you are. They other day when you had the flu and we were snuggling you held my face ever so gently and said, "Cwose yo eyes honey". I nearly melted right there.

You love trains, trucks, dinosaurs, dragons and all things little boy. Just before the snow came (December 1st), you were an avid bike rider. I remember we had to bring your tricycle inside for you to ride because you would not leave it outside. "I wanna wide my biiiike!!" you cried.

You love imitating those around you, mostly me since currently we spend all our time together. You'll often follow an action with, "That's better" or "Yuuuummmmm! Dat's so goooood". Another one of our favourites is, "I be write back mummy!" while you hold your finger up. As well as, "Not wite now. a few moh' minutes!" when it's getting close to bedtime.

You have your dad's temper and most often display this by clearing the area of whatever toy has dared to not conform to your wishes. If you didn't manage to fling them far enough the first time, then you go and pick them up and throw them farther. It's actually quite hilarious to watch although we know we have to discourage it ;)

With all of this sweetness, don't think your aren't a blue-blood boy, through and through. You get so excited whenever your dad does any kind of project. When he and "Mac" cut down the cedars this summer you were beside yourself for days! You ran in and found your chainsaw and would not stop until you could help them, be it carrying branches, sweeping or holding something for them.

Oh, you love being nude. No, I mean, you.love.being.nude. I cannot keep clothes on you! Even our friends call you "Nude Jude" and I often get comments of shock when you DO have clothes on in pictures! "No pants! Knees!" is your favourite line these days.

I can't believe you're a little boy now.

Lucky for me, you still like to "swuggle my mum" ♥

2010-11-25T21:44:00.001-05:00

A Note to Religious People about Chirstmas (and pretty much life)

2010-11-12T09:27:00.004-05:00

I read this in a facebook group and thought it was awesome!!
I think people (Christians specifically in this note) need to STOP trying to make themselves special in some way by boycotting things that have no significance other than to celebrate.
NOBODY CARES. NO.BO.DY. CAAAAARES.

Well, except God and he thinks you have better things to do than go around judging people.

NOTE TO 'RELIGIOUS' PEOPLE
------------------------------------
I undertsand that the likelihood is that Jesus was not born on December 25th. But because we don't know the exact date we're sticking with Dec 25th, okay? I know also the history behind how Christmas came about and the pagan festival before it, but we're not focusing on the origins we're focusing on the Saviour coming to earth to live amongst us. And I know that the Bible doesn't strictly tell us to celebrate Jesus Birthday, but I've had one this year so I guess it would be rude not to have one for Jesus (besides that, the Queen of England has two Birthdays, so how much more should the King of Kings have one!). And I also know we should celebrate him every day, but God loves special occasions (the Bible is full of them), so this is not a one off only annual celebration, but a special focal point for Christians to celebrate his coming (see note below). And finally, I know that most historians agree that the date of Jesus' birth was more than likely a few years BC, but does it really matter how old he is? Let's keep the main thing the main thing and celebrate the arrival of Jesus on the Earthly scene! :)

The Mother Load of Frustration.

2010-09-05T16:06:00.007-04:00

Come on, you all know what I'm talking about. I'll try and write it in words and hopefully it will be therapeutic for me and hilarious for you ;)

You are striving for mother of the year. It's 9am and so far today you've fed and dressed BOTH kids and yourself, fed afore-mentioned people, played with your children, laughed and joked. All of you are feeling like this is what mothere-child relationships should be.

9:01:00 Excuse me please honey, mummy has to put this pile of dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

9:01:02 Honey? Excuse meeee, I have to get the dishes in here.

9:01:10 (maintaining chipper voice and attitude) Move pleeeease!

9:01:15 Honey, I need you to move (despair as dirty dishes start dripping all over the clean floor you just washed at 8:30)

9:01:20 Honey. Move please!

9:01:25 Honey! MOVE!

9:01:30 Move, move, move, move, move, move, move, etc. move!!!!

9:01:32 Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove!

9:01:34 you.need.to.move. NOWWWWWWW

9:01:35 If you don't &%^^&$&^%$ move RIGHT NOW I.am.going.to.lose.it!!!!

9:01:37 ARRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! MOVE IT RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWW!

9:01:40 Slams down dishes (which coincidentally are cleaner as most of the juices are now marinating on the once-clean floor OR, break upon impact in which case you don't need to worry about it anymore) and forcefully grab child by arm and gently direct your little angel to where they should stand while you have a melt down and wash the floor... again.

Yep. That's what I'm talking about. Anyone?

It's Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry

2010-08-26T10:54:00.003-04:00

Ok, it's hard for everyone but I am a HUGE advocate for the need and importance of apologies. Apologies mend bridges no matter how fubar they have become. I personally think no matter the circumstance, a heart-felt apology can make a world of difference.

Now obviously, they do not erase or cause things to be forgotten. Most times, apologies don't even alleviate the pain. What they do do is let someone know you know you've done something that hurt them and that you want to make it better, or at least want to try. I truly feel an apology does these things; at least they do for me.

Yes, they're humbling but I find after a while, they're pretty easy, especially when you know how quickly people's anger dissolves when they know you care.

Anyway, all that to say, we're trying to teach Jude to say sorry. It took me a long time to get Nathan into it and now he's right on board with me. Two-year olds are a whole different ball game but it's going ok...

IKEA Catalogue 2011 drool

2010-08-20T15:08:00.000-04:00

IKEA Catalogue 2011

Day 4

2010-08-19T14:56:00.003-04:00

(I'm only doing this update business for a week, don't worry)

It's not easy getting up at 6am. Nathan's pretty hardcore though, he turns on lights and comes in and out of our room like 80 times and asks me a bunch of questions. It's amazing I've been able to sleep through it in the past. I think it's because I may be more stubborn than he is... as per all wives, I will of course die before admitting this to him.

The children have discovered my evil plot to have time to myself and have been getting up before 7am since day 2. I also am more stubborn then they so I know with much perseverance, I will also win this battle and consequently, the war on terror... er, I mean my quiet time.

Day 3

2010-08-18T07:29:00.002-04:00

It was hard to get up but once up I chatted with Nathan before he left, emptied the dishwasher, loaded it again and mopped the kitchen floor. Was just about to sit down with my coffee when Miss Lucy awoke and promptly woke her brother. So, at 6:45am I have both kids up and rearing to go. They're good though, good moods and just chillin'.
Plan on going to grocery shopping today- I even made a list!

My "Early Morning" Attire

2010-08-17T07:06:00.009-04:00

So yesterday being the induction of my new regime, I obviously wore my 'cute' comfy clothes: yoga capris, cotton tank and long, flowy cardigan thingy. Today, capris, tank and cotton zip up.

I feel these are solid choices as they are comfy but also presentable if I had to go to the store or someone came to the door AND I look pretty cute. We all know how the yogas work. Every woman needs a few pairs.

Today, while switching cars around for Nathan to go to work, woman walks by walking her dog wearing... black yoga capris, tank and PINK cotton zip-up! Hahaha.

We looked like twins, or at least sisters... sisters from another mister!

Let's face it, anyone who's up and outside at 6am is a soul mate.

New Regime-y

2010-08-17T06:59:00.005-04:00

Day #2.
This regime will be a 6am-ish thing, rather than a 5:30am thing.
Feeling good though, loving my quiet morning time ♥

Revelation or Just Plain Craziness?

2010-08-16T07:23:00.009-04:00

So, I'm assuming every mother of young children (or, every mother for that matter) has the same core grievances with their chosen life path.

Lack of opportunities to shower and the opportunities we DO have are quick, flash in the pan showers. There is nothing luxurious or relaxing about it.
Lack of any "me" time... aside from the "me" time spent doing assorted FUN stuff like; laundry, dishes, picking up toys, making dinner, etc.
Spouse comes home from being at work where he gets to pee alone and at his convenience, eat uninterrupted and seated? , interact with adults, not be covered in assorted little people substances AND enjoys 30 minutesof complete and utter ALONE time listening to music or CBC or even.. (dare I suggest it?) silence on the drive to work and home. That's TWICE A DAY people!

I can feel you all nodding and saying, "Yes woman!! YES! THAT IS Meeeeeeee!"

So, after fight 101 of the SAME thing Nathan says, "Why don't YOU get up at 5:30am with me when I go to work and then you can have alone time or shower or tidy or whatever you want to do before the kids get up at 7am?"

Tara: *blink blink* (inner monologue goes as follows)

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. 5:30am, bahahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa."

Oh wait, he's serious..."

As I stand there thinking this insane idea through I realise that maybe it's NOT so insane. I'm woken up by him every morning when he's getting ready for work anyway, it would be nice to have quiet time to wake up before I have to put on my happy mommy pants... SHOULD I get up at 5:30am ON PURPOSE?! *crickets chirping*

Then I start getting excited!

I'm already sleep-deprived anyway, soooooooo... If I get up at 5:30am...

~ I get an hour and a half of free time before children get up

~ I could actually drink a whole cup of coffee... in peace

~ I could get more blogging done

~ I could crochet

~ I could just sit and think

~ I could listen to the news

and of course there are the more practical things I could do: dishes, laundry, bills, shower, meal prep, etc.

I could even nap when the kids are napping like the books say to do!

And let's be honest, since I never go to bed when I should, this would have to make me fall down in exhaustion before 12am right?!

Day one is today. Check it out, I've already showered, dressed, did some crochet on the front porch, admired my flowers, enjoyed some coffee and started writing you this fabulous blog post. Not bad for before 7am huh?

Look out world! Here I come!

.... at 5:30am...

(See? This could be me! ...but with more hair... and younger... and a woman...)

Lucy Jean, 10.5 months?!

2010-08-07T13:34:00.006-04:00

Hi Lulu,
I know I have been very delinquent with your blog posts as of late but it's really not my fault! You and Jude are quite active and keep me pretty busy as of late and let's be honest, Jude's a computer hog ;)
You have grown so much the last few months. You started out with the drag-crawl (you know, the one they have in horror movies all of the time? The broken legs, can't walk, drag?) Ya, that was you :) NOW (as of a couple of weeks ago, you are CRAWLING! You started with the one leg and dragging the other behind you and now are full-fledged-two-knee crawling! You're everywhere! Today you tried to crawl out of the yard! I caught you at the gate though, you didn't think I was watching, but a momma bear is always watchin' her babies ♥
You started clapping a week ago today! We were having lunch with the Colemans and you were watching Grady and then you just copied him! Very cute. At our hotel this week (we went to visit Monroe and Uncle Ayden) you discovered the full-length mirror on the closet and you sat for quite a while smiling and cooing at yourself clapping in the mirror. I wish I got a video of it but you seem to like stopping whatever it is I want to capture the minute I get the camera out!
I think you have the "ma ma" thing down. At least you say it a lot when I'm holding you or you want me as you crawl aimlessly around the house ;)
You also seem to say a lot of random words... I had a necklace on yesterday and I swear you said "pretty!" you said it several times too! It's VERY interesting to see your verbal skills develop so much more quickly than your brother's while physically, he developed so much more quickly than you do.
Lucy, you are SO sweet. You smile all the time and love everybody- especially men! You are a shameless flirt, SHAMELESS! Married men, older men- you charm them all. They of course can't resist you. Your little teeth add to your charm, (currently, you have two bottoms and tow half-tops). You like to make these high-pitched squeaky sounds and flap your arms up and down when you're happy or excited. Hilarious.
You don't like the snuggle unless you are VERY tired, which is a shame because it takes all my self-control to not pin you down and make you snuggle me ;)

Your new trick is to wiggle out of your Woombie (every morning and nap) and then stand on your knees and hold the side of your crib and flash me the million dollar grin when I come in to get you.

You are a drama queen. and a princess.

I TRIED and tried but you insist on filling these roles. You loooooooooove attention and will cry like you lost your best friend just to get others to look your way and then flash them the most dazzling grin melting their hearts before they even know what hit them :)

You love Jude and mercilessly insist on him playing with you though you know he hates it. When he falls asleep in the car you pull his hair and giggle when he turns his head. You are a stinker! You also like to steal my glasses every chance you get. Again, you are a stinker!

BUT.

Though you are a drama queen/princess and stinker all rolled into one, we all love you. You are the sunshine in our little home. Without you, we wouldn't be whole. We'd be missing something vital, something irreplaceable. It would be like missing... our princess! ♥

Sacrilegious or Hilarious?

2010-04-25T03:03:00.003-04:00

"Personally I am willing to excuse young Mr. Powell's behaviour on the grounds that he had been drinking German beer. As one of the characters in Philip Kerr's novel The One from the Other points out, 'Only a country like Germany could have produced a beer strong enough to make a monk risk the wrath of the Roman Catholic Church by nailing 95 theses to a church door in Wittenberg. If you ask me, the whole Reformation can be blamed on strong beer.'

Protestant countries tend to be beer-drinking lands. Whereas 'wine is a perfect Catholic drink. It makes people sleepy and complicity.' "

IAN BROWN - FROM SATURDAY'S GLOBE AND MAIL
APRIL 23 2010 05:57 PM EDT

Child Labour

2010-04-23T09:56:00.001-04:00

Making a Difference

2010-04-19T11:26:00.004-04:00

Is not about what you say.
Is not about what you say you believe.

It's about taking what you would say and doing it in a way that would make what you believe proud.

♥

... joy?

2010-04-15T17:19:00.003-04:00

I don't really have anything profound to share with you today.

I'm loving the beautiful, warm, sunny weather and spent some time outside watching Jude being 2.
There's something about watching a toddler that makes you want to slow time down and cherish every moment. A toddler has no concept of deadlines, bills, responsibilities, etc. A toddler wakes up and thinks, "Drink" or "trucks" or "cars" then they go MAKE it happen. It really is an incredible way to live.
Today Jude ran to me and gave me a big kiss because I said we could go outside. In his exuberant gratitude he also hugged our friend we were visiting. Can you imagine getting THAT much joy out of something so simple?

His mind works in wonderful, random ways. He just lept up from my feet where he was playing cars, babbled something incoherent and the ran off elbows pointed out to the kitchen. He has since returned with Nathan's cowboy boots which he has now put on and is shuffling around the living room in. See? Joy.

Ohhhh! More rambling and some bumping. I think a boot has come off in the kitchen. Mumble, muble, "shoes" and he has returned with a second pair of cowboy boots only to leave again with said boots in hand.

More bumping and rambling... big sigh... aaaand quiet.
(I'm going to go peek) and he's coming back with pieces of sample tile! Of COURSE he is!
We have to go outside now, he's getting his shoes on... but now is on his way upstairs... with shoes on?
(quiet.. doors closing... he returns with rubber boots on)

Gotta go!

Lucy Jean, 6.5 months old.

2010-04-08T13:32:00.004-04:00

Hi Lucy Jean,
You've inherited some cute nicknames this month to add to your collection:

juicy lean
LJ
Lu-Lu
Miss Lu
Miss Jean
Luce
Lucy Goosey

You said Dadda on Easter Sunday!! I was privileged to hear it but Daddy missed it. Since then you've definitely been saying more syllables. It was like Sunday you decided from then on you would use ba's and ma's and da's and you've been talking ever since!

You still aren't sitting up but you're getting closer! You love rolling around and grab at all things, even little rice krispies! You now eat cereal every day as well as cookies and random stuff we stick in your Nuby.

You love spoons! They are your favourite toy ever. You even got some in your Easter basket this year - very cute :)

You are smiling and cooing and giggling all the time now. You are such a sweet-natured girl, everyone says so. I just want to squeeze you so tight you are so lovable.
You continue to love your Jolly Jumper and swing. It's interesting that you love the low setting now. You play with whatever toy (or spoon!) we give you and gently rock back and forth content to watch Jude or anyone else do their thing. Daddy is the love of your life. Once he starts talking or playing guitar or is even in the room you cannot take your eyes off of him. You ARE his girl. Jude continues to warm up to you and just yesterday he helped you bounce in your Jolly Jumper. The two of you will smile at each other randomly and you love reaching out to him, trying to touch him any chance you get. Jude, like a true big brother, tries to shove you off but you can tell he too has been won over by your sweet sweet self.

You are a true treasure Miss Lu. Already you have brought so much joy to our family.

We love you so much.
mummy, daddy, & jude

Dear Abortion:

2010-03-04T21:44:00.003-05:00

I hate you for making women think you're quick and painless and easy.
I hate you for killing innocent children.
I hate you for convincing society that you are a good choice.
I hate you for millions of unborn babies every year never getting to meet their mommas, daddies or big brothers and sisters.
I hate you for ruining lives.
I hate you for convincing people that once you're over there are no side effects.
I hate you for making women think they are powerful because they can choose you.
I hate you for the millions of babies screaming in pain.
I hate you for the guilt moms feel afterwards but are too afraid to talk about.
I hate you for making light of the most precious gift ever.
I hate you for assuring women you won't hurt.
I hate you for everything you stand for.

I hate you.

photo by: raluxyoyo

PPD and Me

2010-03-01T13:47:00.011-05:00

So I have debating writing about this for a couple of reasons but I decided that the pluses to putting myself out there far outweigh the negatives and normally when I put myself out there I not only help myself but others too.

I have Postpartum Depression.
Yep, it's true.

Now before you get all worried, it's not the Brooke Shields-off-myself-or-my-children kind of PPD, so don't start scheduling round-the-clock watches :)

I'm just not myself.

I have CRAZY mood swings. I get REALLY frustrated REALLY easily. I get REALLY discouraged.

This is not me. I'll admit that I have less than normal tolerance for people and their stupidity but this goes beyond anything I've ever experienced. It's like I can see myself doing, feeling and saying things and KNOW I'm being ridiculous but can't convince myself otherwise. I can't dig myself out of rages. It's like someone else takes control of my mind for a while. It's rather alarming for someone who is generally pretty low-key...

The other week Nathan went out with his buddies after work and therefore needed to sleep most of the day (being on nights "going out after work" means he doesn't get home until 9am) which I was really ok with... for a while. I had a visitors and everything was fine. Suddenly, within a half-an-hour, Jude started getting really whiny and I.LOST.IT. I threw a cutting board across the room, breaking a favourite wine glass and then told my two year old son to, "eat his f*cking lunch!!". Nathan comes running downstairs at the crash, calms Jude down and brings the kids into the basement while I seethe. I had to close the basement door, get into my bed upstairs and close our bedroom door to put enough distance between us in order to calm down. After a long shower and about an hour of lying in bed trying to rationalize with myself I still couldn't calm down. I actually came downstairs and made myself a stiff drink. Now, though I make jokes of doing this, I have never ACTUALLY done it. Until that day. Only then was I able to start calming down and realizing that,

Nathan was not a selfish jerk for wanting to go out with his friends.
Being more upset over breaking a wine glass than swearing at my toddler was INSANE.
Having such a huge meltdown after only 2 minutes of whining is not normal.

Nathan then asks me why I am so angry ALL of the time? I sigh in frustration saying I have no idea and then think,

"What if I have Postpartum Depression?!"

I Wikipedia'd it.

"Symptoms of PPD can occur anytime in the first year postpartum^[5] and include, but are not limited to, the following:

Sadness^[5]
Hopelessness^[5]
Low self-esteem^[5]
Guilt^[5]
A feeling of being overwhelmed
Sleep and eating disturbances^[5]
Inability to be comforted^[5]
Exhaustion^[5]
Emptiness^[5]
Anhedonia^[5]
Social withdrawal^[5]
Low or no energy^[5]
Becoming easily frustrated^[5]
Feeling inadequate in taking care of the baby^[5]
Impaired speech and writing
Spells of anger towards others
Increased anxiety or panic attacks
Decreased sex drive"

I have 15 of 18 symptoms on a regular basis...

Further confirmation:

Ok, so now what do I do?

I knew I didn't want to go on any drugs. Besides not liking the idea of them, I am full-time nursing and I didn't want to have to wean myself OFF of them when I was better (and then how do you know you're better?).
I called a good friend who had PPD with her second and she said to take time to myself and take my vitamins. Good advice I thought!

So my new regime to combat the crazy includes; TRYING to get more sleep, taking vitamin D (just in case there's some seasonal going on there too) and multivitamins every day, TRYING to eat better and making sure I have some quiet "me" time every day. If I start getting overwhelmed or irritated, Nathan sends me for time-outs which may sound condescending but is actually a true blessing. If I can catch myself before the full-out crazy starts it is way easier to control outbursts like the one above.
These things work really well. They don't stop the crazy completely, but they make a huge difference in the frequency and intensity of the crazy.
Don't get me wrong, I realize the seriousness of what's going on and the impact it has on me and my family but I find adding humour to the situation helps me not take myself so seriously.

So there you have it. I am sure you've noticed the crazy creeping into my FB posts which is why I felt the need to share with you.
I really am ok! Really. Being aware of the problem is a huge step in helping myself. Since I've discovered I have PPD things are not perfect but they are better and though I think it may be a little while until I am back to normal, I just have to accept the help that is offered me.

Accepting help does NOT make me a lesser mother, wife or person. In fact, accepting help MAKES me a better mother, wife and person; more full of energy and good humour for my husband, my children and myself.

Hope this helps someone out there.

Lucy Jean, 5 Months Old!

2010-02-23T21:54:00.005-05:00

Sweet Lucy,
Look how much better I'm getting! Two blog entries in as many months!

In the past month you've really been building your core strength (I know, I sound like an exercise commercial) and now can almost do a sit up it seems! A little more time and you'll be sitting up- very exciting! Tonight at Junior Youth you kept rocking back and forth in my lap.. you looked like maybe you should be in a corner crying but you were having a merry, old time smiling at all the girls.

I got you to giggle for the first time yesterday! Daddy can always make you giggle but seems you old out for me. I figured out your weakness... nuzzling those chubby cheeks!! You love it and it makes you so happy.

Lucy, you would not believe the amount of people (strangers even!) who comment on the size of your cheeks! They are huge! Everyone also loves your big blue eyes. They all tell you, you are so cute. Daddy always tells you how beautiful you are. You are definitely his special girl. Unfortunately he says you aren't allowed to get married unless you marry a priest... (I'm working on him, don't worry).

You're new favourite is the Jolly Jumper! You have figured out how to bounce in it and you could sit there all day if your little legs didn't get tired. You are so cute smiling and content just swinging or bouncing away.

You love Jude. Whenever you get close enough to him (that is, he lets you get close enough) all you do is smile and smile. You watch his every move and thoroughly enjoy learning new things through him.

You are still making lots of noises but nothing too different from last month. Still so sweet and we all love listening to you in your crib after you wake from a nap.

YOU HAVE HAIR! Ok, you have a little tuft of hair amidst your fuzz. It is SO cute and you just grew it like two days ago! You look like Alfalfa but blonde. Everyone loves it. Honestly, who doesn't love a good tuft of hair? I am so excited to put little clips and bows in it :)

I can't believe next month you'll be half a year old! Our time with you is going so fast it's hard to take time to appreciate it fully.

Mr. Jude, a two-year old.

2010-02-23T11:30:00.012-05:00

Dear Judie Ludies,
You are two years old! I can't believe how life has changed since you've arrived :)

In the past few weeks your vocabulary has really expanded! You will now string together two words at a time like, "Muk peas!" (milk please). You are such a polite little boy using your pleases and thank yous all of the time (and most of the time you even remember without being asked).
Some of the words you often says include:

puppy
kitty
monkey
mommy & daddy
please & thank you
papa
juice & milk
cookie
'tar (guitar)
big truck
ya, no
again! go, go, go!
night night
big bed
big blue house
teddy
'ish (fish), elmo (nemo)
badass (we're still trying to figure out what that really is)
pee pee
mouth, ear, nose, hair, eye, head
kiss
'nana (banana)

and many more I am sure I'm missing as well as ones he CAN say but doesn't.

You are so SO affectionate! You love giving kisses and hugs and run to your dad and I all of the time for just a little love before running back to whatever has captured your interest. You LOVE Pastor Ray and every Sunday I think you make his week by running up to him and giving him the hugest hug! You also love your Papa, especially his tractor! The other day we asked you to thank the waiter who gave you a lollipop and you ran and gave HIM a huge hug! It was so cute and the man was very touched. I think you made his day :)

(Jude in his big boy underwear-just testing 'em out) ;)

The jury's still out on Lucy although recently you've started trying to share your snacks with her, which is so cute. Now instead of turning your head in her direction and air kissing her, you actually will go within a couple of inches of her head when "kissing" her.
You like when Lucy has to go 'night night' and are eager to turn off her bedside lamp, which I think means "mommy is all mine" time is starting. I have to ask you at least a couple of times to turn the light back on so I can finish getting Lucy's pyjamas on.

You LOVE all things little boy. Trucks, tractors, loud noises, action figures, blocks, bikes and cars. You LOVE making messes, your favourite being spilling anything on the floor.

Your favourite foods are fruits and anything sweet. You eat a lot of foods but whether or not you like them changes on a daily basis.

You love watching movies. Your current favourites include: The Lion King, Finding Nemo, Meet the Robinsons, Shark Tale, Charlotte's Web and anything Bear and the Big Blue House. You love waving good-bye to Luna and Bear at the end of every episode. This morning you acted out the scene where Simba mourns the death of his father, quite hilarious and I think you may have some Oscars coming your way ;) Lately you have even started singing the "Bear in the Big Blue House" theme song, although you only know one line ;)

You are like a little tornado going through the house leaving a path of destruction behind you. We've started singing the clean-up song and you will now help clean up your messes.

You love both your mommy and your daddy and depending on who said "no" to you, you like the other better. Lately you've been playing shy and hiding in my legs. So unlike you, so it must be some kind of stage you're going through...

You had your first bout of the stomach flu this week. You were so sad and miserable. Thankfully it was only for a few hours. You were very brave for such a little guy. Mommy was very proud of you ♥

You are growing SO fast! I can't believe you already weigh more than your cousins who are 2-3 years older than you! I am really looking forward to seeing you grow more and more into a little boy. Don't grow up too fast though, already I have to steal my snuggles.

I better go now, got to try and get some stuff done before you wake up.

Sweet dreams pumpkin,
'ove ou'

Our Lucy Jean 3-4 Months

2010-01-26T14:46:00.005-05:00

Oh Lucy Jean,

You are so so sweet but also drive me crazy.

I know I am being unfair because if I only had you and not your brother to worry about things would be way easier.

I feel really guilty that I have not been posting your monthly updates like I did with Jude. Logically, I know that I have a lot more on my plate and that your dad is working nights and two kids require twice as much effort with half the sleep and napping is minimal as you often won't sleep at the same time as Jude or by yourself.

We bought you a new crib and change table from your friend Sassy. It is so nice, white spindles and such. So girly. You actually seem to really like your bed and will sleep in it, sometimes without even being rocked or nursed to sleep. You really love your bear mobile and watch them spin round for quite a while before you start to get bored.

You are so cute. I love your gummy smiles and how you really want to talk to us. You're trying out your voice more and more and make little "AH!" sounds, like you're tentatively asking a question with your voice seeing what it can do. Other times you shout out and make statements you seem quite passionate about! Very cute. You really started chatting it up at around 3 months. It seems much sooner than your brother did at your age.

You have huge, bright blue eyes and we are all convinced you're going to be a heart-breaker one day, so cute ♥

You have a love/hate relationship with your swing. Some days you hang out and fall asleep loving the motion. Other times you will freak out as soon as I motion to put you into it and will not settle down until I pick you up again.

You love being held and hate when we put you down. It's hard to remember what Jude was like but as far as I remember, he did the same thing. Your Dad and I have conferred and we both admit to wanting to throw you both out the window at times so we know it's true ;)

You tried out cereal a few days ago and weren't too sure about it but were getting the hint by the end of the eating session :) Last night you tried it out again with Auntie Kayla and me and by the end you were much better, opening your mouth when you saw the spoon coming and swallowing once the food was in your mouth.

You got a couple of dollies for Christmas as you already love them just like a little girl would. Much like your blankets, you love smushing her into your face and touching her to your tongue. It's an exploratory texture thing, I get it :)

You're going through a growth spurt this week, eating like you haven't eaten in days but really it's only been an hour or so.

You are still getting up 2-3 times in the night and like your brother, can break out of most swaddles.

You love chewing on your hands and yesterday you for sure were sticking your thumb in there. I wonder if you're going to be a thumb sucker? It's so cute right now but I can see us getting into fights later on if you won't drop the habit, hee hee.

You are a big kicker! In your swing, lying down, if something excites you (which is pretty much all of the time) you kick and kick. I think it's another sensory thing because when your dad and I put your feet up against the spindles of your crib or change table you love touching them softly and then more aggressively with your feet. The first night on your new change table you were almost bent in half trying to get a good feel of the spindles. You were so happy sitting there in the nude feeling the spindles with your feet. I just watched you smiling and content.

You can sit up but not on your own yet. You are so strong! You can almost do sit ups and when we have you sitting in the corner of the couch you pull your abdomen up so far you shimmy yourself down flat on your back in a couple of seconds and then are angry because you can't see! hahaha

You love the bath but the first few seconds it's debatable. You get a HUGE pouty lip when I set you in the tub but once you feel the nice warm water, you settle down and of course, start kicking :)

You have no hair.

Ok, slight exaggeration, but you have very little hair. We think it's going to to strawberry-blond judging from the little you do have. Interesting since my Aunt Alberta has fiery red hair and your dad has red in his beard hair... wonder how it's going to play out with you?

My favourite is after a bath and your hair gets fuzzy. It is so sweet and I love to touch it. At the back of your head it is slightly longer and the wispy bits can stick out and remind me of one of my fave actors Jack Nicholson :) (I have a funny sense of humour like that, you're sure to get used to it and maybe even have the same one! Your Gran and I have the same sense of humour so it's very possible) FYI, it'll probably confuse but delight your husband as it does for both your dad and Grampa :)

Um, I think that is all...

Oh wait! At an Epicure party I had two psychics tell me (I know, SO random) that you will speak out and have something to say to the world and that you will make a difference this way. Interesting to see if that comes true... as it stands now, you're the little dictator at our house so you never know!

One more thing...

YOUR CHEEKS.

Oh my word. Everyone notices them and comments on how big and chubby they are! Even Grampa! They are for sure so so cute and we love covering them with kisses. They are often rosy at night but at night only so I wonder if there is something I am eating that maybe causes you to flush like that?

I keep telling people we could feed a family of four with your cheeks but so far it hasn't come to that, which is good..

because I love them right where they are ♥

Letter from Jesus re: Christmas :)

2009-12-21T15:53:00.000-05:00

Dear beloved,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up... It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I LOVE YOU,

JESUS

Picture of Peace (By Melodi Leih)

2009-11-17T05:52:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Even though she lives in a different state, our friendship and “mom” connection keeps her close to my heart. She sent me the picture of her sweet baby today.

Contentment, peace and comfort are a few ways to express what I saw in that picture. I was reminded of the days of motherhood when it was a struggle to shower or get dressed; when dinner was a bowl of cheerios, and reading a book meant Green Eggs and Ham. There were many lonely days where connection with the “outside world” was not easily made.

"every second of being a mom can be a
life-changing event for you and your child"

But there were also moments of quiet contentment as I rocked my babies to sleep. There was laughter as we knocked down towers of blocks. I cherish those as memories now that my kids are older because every one of them shaped our lives. Dishes, laundry and even showering can usually wait, but every second of being a mom can be a life-changing event for you and your child.

Being a mom has deepened my dependence on God – like when the macaroni and cheese dinner I made ended up on the floor or when my accomplishments went unnoticed. I’ve also learned to seek out and recognize contentment in whatever season of mothering I’m in. This picture helped me pause and be grateful for every mom moment I’ve been given.

Dear God, help me teach my child that peace and contentment are not just found in the quiet moments of the day.

(This really touched my heart and not only reaffirmed that I am not the only one out there ha7ing these feelings, ut that they are normal and will pass. I also lo7e that Melodi knows how to put into words the lo7e of mothering that we share. ♥)

Cold vs. H1N1

2009-10-29T15:09:00.000-04:00

Know the Difference between a Cold and H1N1 Flu Symptoms

Symptom	Cold	H1N1 Flu
Fever	Fever is rare with a cold.	Fever is usually present with the flu in up to 80% of all flu cases. A temperature of 100°F or higher for 3 to 4 days is associated with the H1N1 flu.
Coughing	A hacking, productive (mucus- producing) cough is often present with a cold.	A non-productive (non-mucus producing) cough is usually present with the H1N1 flu (sometimes referred to as dry cough).
Aches	Slight body aches and pains can be part of a cold.	Severe aches and pains are common with the H1N1 flu.
Stuffy Nose	Stuffy nose is commonly present with a cold and typically resolves spontaneously within a week.	Stuffy nose is not commonly present with the H1N1 flu.
Chills	Chills are uncommon with a cold.	60% of people who have the H1N1 flu experience chills.
Tiredness	Tiredness is fairly mild with a cold.	Tiredness is moderate to severe with the H1N1 flu.
Sneezing	Sneezing is commonly present with a cold.	Sneezing is not common with the H1N1 flu.
Sudden Symptoms	Cold symptoms tend to develop over a few days.	The H1N1 flu has a rapid onset within 3-6 hours. The flu hits hard and includes sudden symptoms like high fever, aches and pains.
Headache	A headache is fairly uncommon with a cold.	A headache is very common with the H1N1 flu, present in 80% of flu cases.
Sore Throat	Sore throat is commonly present with a cold.	Sore throat is not commonly present with the H1N1 flu..
Chest Discomfort	Chest discomfort is mild to moderate with a cold.	Chest discomfort is often severe with the H1N1 flu.

The only way to stop the spread of the epidemic is to spread the awareness.

H1N1 Tips

2009-10-27T16:36:00.003-04:00

(No, I don't buy into the hype but these are good tips for general cold avoidance) :)

The following advice, given by Dr. Oz, makes a lot of sense and is
important for all to know:

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global
epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into
contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so
much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection,
in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development
of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in
most official communications, can be practised (instead of focusing on how
to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat or bathe.)

3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine or Hydrogen Peroxide if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple,
inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water, or hydrogen peroxide. *Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the nose softly once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*

5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

Lucy Jean, 6 Weeks and Counting!

2009-10-26T22:04:00.004-04:00

My baby girl is going to be six weeks old tomorrow! I know ALL parents say this, but where does the time go?
A kind gentleman, who helped me carry my parcels at the post office today, and I said this exact thing to each other as we were gazing at Lucy. His daughter is now 17 and he can still remember what she was like when she was Lucy's age. You could tell by his excitement that he really loves his daughter. It was so sweet.

I am the first to admit I was apprehensive about having a girl. I know a lot of girls and they are high-maintenance. After Jude (Mr. Low-Key) I did not want to suffer the wrath of some drama queen! Fortunately, Lucy is not a drama queen (Ok, well TOO much of a drama queen).
Lucy knows what she wants and will let you know too, but she is also so sweet. She is quite forceful and will let you know when she doesn't like something. She will go from calm and serene to full out fit in less than five seconds if you do something or she experiences something she doesn't like.
Already she is a Daddy's girl (much to Nathan's joy). She loves to snuggle and is happiest in someone's arms but the swing makes a decent second choice. She makes the cutest little sounds. They aren't common yet but every once in a while they are there and they are cuuuute. She is a grunter! Constantly grunting up a storm! She loves to nurse and is quite the messy eater; milk all over her face and running down her chin and usually my side too. She's also quite quick! Jude would nurse for 45 minutes at a time and this kid is usually in and out in less than 20 minutes!
Lucy's already changing, almost on a daily basis it seems! She is so bright-eyed these days and so very endearing. Just looking at her and her big blue eyes makes my heart swell with love for my baby girl.
Lucy's officially entered the "you-must-hold-me-every-second-of-the-day" phase. She is still so small (about 8.5lbs?) and fits perfectly into my arms. In order to get small things like dinner made, the swing makes a great second choice. Once in the swing, she is fully alert (for about 10 minutes) just silently taking the world in.

Oh! Almost forgot. Lucy's limbs are so tiny! Jude always had the chunky thighs and arms we love to see on babies but Lucy's arms and legs are just so tiny and thin! It's a whole new cuteness. She also has long, narrow feet which I think she gets off of her dad?
She has my toes though :)

...and my nose (Thank God) ♥

The C-Section (Insert scary music here)

2009-10-23T13:51:00.000-04:00

So I had the dreaded c-section.

I say dreaded, not because I dreaded it but because many people I knew were quite apprehensive about it (yes, I could totally tell).

Let me start by saying I had a horrible experience with a "natural" birth. I say "natural" because I got ousted for using the "V" word (vaginal) and want to be sensitive to my male readers. Also, I don't care how many drugs you shoved into your system during your "natural" birth, I think you should still get the privilege of using the term.

Anyway, to make a long story short, my body is not meant for birthing babies. Don't try to tell me otherwise, (those of you who know my story and its gory details can vouch for me) you're just going to have to trust me on this one; it's just not. Besides that, my doctor actually LAUGHED when I asked her about it. It wasn't so much of a "no", it was a "hellllllllllllll no!" (pardon my expletive). So, in addition to ME not wanting to go through the "natural" birth again (I seriously would not have had any more children if i had to do it that way... seriously.), my doctor, MIDWIFE, GP, Obgyn, husband, family, friends and pretty much anyone you'll meet, discouraged me from it. (Can you tell I've been getting the disapproving looks?)

Which brings us to present day.
So, they have me come to the hospital for 6:30am the day of the section. I have been fasting since midnight. I register, get my gown on, pee a million times (more from nerves than the pregnancy) and wait for my name to be called.
After a short wait, a super sweet nurse walks me down to the OR. Nathan is escorted to a waiting room where he will get into scrubs and join me once I am all set up.
I walk into the OR (8am) and it's totally like TV! The table, little trays, surgical equipment (I could have done without seeing that), etc. I am chatting with all of the nurses, having a merry ol' time. My anesthesiologist (FYI, I totally spelt that correctly the first time-woo hoo), who looks like Robin Williams, comes in and gets the horrid IV started. I think he used the biggest needle they had and I practically squeezed the poor nurse's hand off. It stung. A lot.
After IV I am told by anesthesiologist that NOW comes the part that will hurt a little bit. Is he kidding?!
They have me sit up and curl into a ball (NOT fun when you're 9.5 months pregnant I might add) to separate all my vertebrae for the spinal. I sit like this for like 10 hours while the lovely nurse holds my hand and tells me how awesome I am. I start to freak out & shake in anticipation of this "bee sting" I have been warned is coming. FINALLY he inserts the freezing needle which pinches like when you get your blood taken (no biggie). "Almost done!" he says. ALMOST!!! For the love of all things holy man, get a move on!! Here comes the bee sting but it doesn't sting at all, it actually didn't hurt at all but did cause my muscle to spasm a little bit... and I'm done! (THAT was what all the hoopla was about?!) Honestly, the waiting was the worst part- besides the stupid IV.
I have to lie down right away as my body starts to go all warm like I'm slipping into a warm bath. The blue curtain goes up so I can't see what's going on and the anesthesiologist tells me he won't tie my arms down but I have to keep them above my breasts and CAN'T move! Done and done.
In walks Nathan looking all cute in his scrubs and face mask (and a little pale I might add) but instantly looks better when he sees I am not only ok but joking with the doctors and nurses. I can feel people touching my stomach but no pain. I tell my OB when I can't feel anymore and she says, "Oh, we've already started cutting!". Well then, don't mind me-ha ha. Nathan tries to watch and they tell him he's not allowed as they've had fainters. He's disappointed but manages to sneek a peek when they pull her out.
My OB informs us that Lucy is breech which means I would have had to have a section anyway! Oh, the irony. I can feel tugging and general movement in my belly but no pain-such a weird feeling and she's out (8:39am)! They bring her to my side (about 6 feet away) and we get a super quick glance and then they take her to get cleaned up and do her stats. She comes back and we love her for about a minute and then Nathan leaves with Lucy and the nurse while I get stapled up (so creepy).
They (nurses who looks like Julianna Moore and Hulk Hogan) transfer me to a bed and wheel me out of the OR (9am). I am in recovery for abut 3 hours as they have to wait for me to be able to wiggle my toes and watch my stats and stuff. It is so weird not being able to move your legs, definitely not a pleasant feeling if you knew it was going to be longer than a few hours. Nurses are cleaning me up and all that post birth stuff you don't want to hear about. We have a lovely time chatting but I am quite antsy to go see Lucy.

I am fir weeks post-partum and would venture to say I feel fabulous! Apparently I will probably always hae a small numb spot around the incision but as for healing it was fine! I am doing all the things I would normally do (eing careful about lifting of course). Still wearing loose fitting waists as the pressure can hurt ut that's about it!

In conclusion, I would say not to worry if you are e'er in need of a section. It seems ominous and scary ut it's really quite ok! Just follow the directions post-op that the doctor gives you and with a little luck you'll e up and feeling great in no time!
♥

Welcome Lucy Jean!

2009-09-25T20:54:00.004-04:00

Well, the secret's out and Lucy Jean is here!

Nathan and I went to Owen Sound and she was born at 8:39am on Wednesday September 16th weighing 7lbs exactly and measuring 18" long. She is a true sweetheart and seems so tiny compared to what her 8lb 2oz, 22" brother was. They are already kindred spirits as Jude greeted his new sister with an automatic kiss on the cheek as soon as he saw her ♥

Let me tell you, it is ALL about the C-section. People who tell you it's worst are liars who want you to go through hours of hell. Don't ask me why, maybe you stole the last cookie or their boyfriend or car or something. Either way, they are not your friends and you should avoid them at all costs.

When I have officially "fully healed" to my satisfaction I will give you all of the gory details. Until then, you're just going to have to trust me on this one.

How to be Pregnant.

2009-08-21T09:47:00.002-04:00

I have many people who sympathize with the pregnancy thing and some that just don't get it, so I have compiled some instructions on how you too can be pregnant!!

Set aside 9+ months of your life where you have to second guess everything you ingest.
Start drinking a lot of water (like gallons) so you can feel bloated and nauseated.
Sleep on a concrete floor for a few nights (make sure you turn the heat up to 30 degrees first) so you can experience the achy-ness that will be your constant friend if you decide to sit or lie down the next 9 months.
Strap a small bouncy ball to your abdomen and then try and bend over. Repeat 100s of times over your nine-month period changing to a volleyball at 6 months and then basketball at 8 months.
Make sure you only sleep minimally every night. Just enough that you can say you slept but not enough that you can function for a full work day.
Start taking hormones. TONNES of hormones! When you feel the most irrational, take a hand-full more.
When at most emotional make sure you surround yourself with plenty of people who either really sympathize (so you want to cry) or think you are crazy. How difficult can pregnancy be?!
Also surround yourself with people who will be the first to call your husband to help them with any random task they can find and then tell you how much they APPRECIATE him when they know him doing other things takes the little amount of time he has at home to help you as if this makes it easier for you to deal with the complete helplessness you feel.
Oh! Don't forget your friends who think you're super lame because you don't want to go out dancing or to concerts anymore. Because WHAT could be more fun when you're completely exhausted?!
On a final note, make sure you alternate between constipation and the runs on a weekly basis.

I think these are the tools you need. I am sure other women have more they can add. I'll call you in a few months and see how you feel! By then I won't be pregnant anymore so let's go to the massive music festival this weekend! It's supposed to be 30degrees and humid! We can stand for hours around all sorts of skinny girls! AWESOME!!!!

Something About This Picture Just Isn't Right...

2009-08-09T22:01:00.002-04:00

Can YOU see it?

SHE'S PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GEH.
(Let's not even discuss that it's not the same person...)

A Lucky Lady and Life at Maison Byle

2009-07-24T22:06:00.005-04:00

Well, we've got nine weeks left until our lives are turned upside down again. I know it feels like I have been pregnant forever but I am still surprised the baby is almost here! So far, I think Nathan, Jude and I make a great team. I am concerned how this new babe will affect our relationships with each other.

I figure this is going to go one of two ways:

1. Babe will be delightful just like her big brother.
2. Babe will be a little hellion.

There will be no in-between I am sure- hahaha.

I know we'll be fine and things will work but you worry anyway. Jude's had all of our attention for 18 months and though he is very independent he still loves the attention of his parents. He loves other kids, but will he love one that is around all day every day for the rest of his time at home? Donno...

So those are my thoughts.

I need to mention though that if Nathan doesn't get Father of the Year this year I will be very surprised. He is SUCH a huge contributor to our family, not only by being the breadwinner but by constantly being available to help me as I get more pregnant and less able to lug around a 30lb toddler.
This week I had various appointments and a road trip I went on. Nathan not only worked the night shift but got up with Jude (we're very happy he sleeps until about 9am or later most mornings), fed him, changed him and played with him until I could get home to help him. He's a great dad. He never complains and even says he loves being able to spend the extra time with Jude.

I'm one lucky lady.
♥

2009-07-23T14:37:00.007-04:00

Less Than 10 Weeks to Go!

2009-07-20T22:03:00.002-04:00

and I am getting less patient by the minute.
If you happen to be a person who requires a lot of patience* you may just want to avoid me until Thanksgiving.
Afterall, I have heard of women getting off for stuff while PMSing. PMS ain't got anything on pregnancy baby!

* Generally, you find it hard to find friends, your family doesn't understand you, you think the world revolves around you, you're a jerk, you treat people poorly, etc., etc.

Etiquette 101: Receiving a Gift

2009-07-08T10:30:00.002-04:00

When receiving a gift etiquette generally advises the following actions:

Say, "Thank you!" (with enthusiasm!) whether you are thankful or not. The person got you a gift, what's not to appreciate?

That is all. Just thought I was crazy thinking this was common knowledge...

I'm not so into astrology but who can argue with such a compelling assessment?

2009-07-02T16:25:00.002-04:00

TAURUS (The Tramp) (ok, well that's up for debate) ;)

Aggressive.
Loves being in long relationships.
Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremely outgoing.
Loves to help people in times of need.
Good kisser.
Good personality.
Stubborn.
A caring person.
One of a kind.
Not one to mess with.
Are the most attractive people on earth!

Dear Elders,

2009-06-29T20:42:00.006-04:00

Dear Elders,
If I ever EVER hear you complain about the rudeness of young people EVER again I will personally slap you.

Let's flip back:

Mother's Day. Obviously pregnant and dragging 6 cases of pop behind me, a lady (40+) butts in line in front of me at Sobeys.
Friend picks up old lady (60+) with groceries and drives her home just as a huge rain storm starts. She gets out and doesn't even say thank you.
Same friend standing in line at McDonald's today. Old lady (60+) pushes friend to the side with her cane so she can get by.
Nathan, Jude and I (along with 6 other people) are waiting in line at Canadian Tire and there is one cashier. Two men (40+) start a LOUD conversation about the service and how long they are waiting. One of the two men JUST got in line?! They proceed to loudly chat so everyone in line can hear. As another till opens (and pregnant self, toddler and husband are OBVIOUSLY next) both men butt in front of everyone and continue to complain loudly.
Ever notice that the people who park in the handicap and pregnant/family parking who shouldn't are all 40+?? You never see "young" people parking there do you?

Anyway, you get my drift.
When did it become appropriate for the very people who complain about society and its lack of morals and values to behave in such an abhorrent manner?
If one would like to complain about the state of society's young people, I suggest giving us a role model from which we can learn how to behave otherwise.

Micheal Jackson: The King of Pop

2009-06-25T21:43:00.004-04:00

Wow.
Micheal Jackson died today.

I now know how my parents felt when Elvis died. It's like the biggest star EVER from my childhood just *poof* checked-out!
It's funny, talking to my 18 year-old friend tonight, how though she knew it was a big deal, just didn't quite get the HUGE impact MJ had on pop music!

MJ made:

male dancing cool
clothes that fit properly cool (in a decade of huge t-shirts, etc.)
pop music explode into what it is today
made those belts with the metal bullets cool (no, it's not an emo thing!)
choreographed dance cool (a la Brittany, Christina, Pussy Cat Dolls, Justin, Usher, you name it!)

It's funny all the 18 year olds on Much Music trying to share how much MJ influenced their lives. Dude, "Free Willy" has nothing on "Thriller" or "Billy Jean".

Micheal, you had you highs and lows and you got pretty messed up in the end but you were exploited your whole life. Rest in Peace King of Pop ♥

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-20T20:54:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is Father's Day.

Father's Day has always been a bull holiday for me as most of you know my father was a total jerk growing up.
Anyway, he's made leaps and bounds in the past 5 years and actually even said to me the last time we were together that he is sad we weren't closer growing up. SHOCK. I told him not to worry, we can make up for lost time now.

Though my dad himself is not a bad person, he was very oppressive and negative ALL the time with me as I was growing up.
My Gran says she will "NEVER FORGIVE" him. Which I find over the top and sad. To live the rest of your days bitter towards someone.. well, it's just sad.
May I add, forgiving someone is NOT forgetting or ignoring the hurt they caused. Forgiving is letting the hurt go and not letting it control you anymore. It's moving forward in your life.

I have to say, it is only because of my faith that I was able to see his problems (that were not mine) and forgive him. Through the whole thing I became very determined to achieve the things I wanted and the things God taught me were important, not the things I was taught at home.

Today, I can say with pride and joy that I am fully content and happy with where my life has gone. I feel not only did my confidence in obtaining what I wanted play a role in my happiness, but also, and more importantly, did the plans He had for me.

This is a pretty Christian-y note and I know a few of my "followers" will cringe at my references to God's planning in my life and maybe outright scoff. This is ok. I don't expect you all to understand or even believe me but what I do know and understand is that I should be a statistic.
Instead, I am a strong, powerful, confident woman who got everything she wanted out of this world.

So today, I have two dads to thank. My Dad, who isn't perfect but I don't need him to be; and my Father who is perfect and that's exactly what I need Him to be.

Happy Father's Day!

Set Up Fail.

2009-06-18T21:41:00.001-04:00

So my set up has failed.
It wasn't messy, just a realization of different worlds.
I think a lot of it stems from (I hate that I am about to say this) the age gap.

As much as we like to think it, one really just does not know who they are in their 20s. I think most get there by their late 20s but it's not a tried-and-true recipe.

As a woman in her 30s I pretty much know what I do and do not want. I have very strong opinions on things and am generally not scared/ashamed to share them. I understand that by holding the values and beliefs I hold, I will not agree with most people AND THAT IS OK!!!! We do not all have to agree! As far as right/not right, it's not up to me to decide. I personally believe my beliefs are "the truth" but doesn't everyone think that of their own beliefs? I mean, what kind of a moron would say they believe something but admit they don't think they believe it's the truth? This is another realization of the 30s. (well, MY 30s)

I don't think you can enter into a long-term relationship without knowing who you are first. I am not saying a rock-solid knowledge is key, but you do need to know where you stand on life and love and in who YOU are.

So anyway, will this deter me from future set-ups? Maybe. I'll have to be REALLY sure next time ;)

What?!

2009-06-05T12:03:00.002-04:00

Nathan informed me today that if Lucy/Ayda was born soon she would survive as I will shortly be entering my 3rd trimester .

Um, great mother that I am forgot this interesting and yet pertinent information.

Good thing one of us is keeping track.

I Got Nothin'

2009-06-03T20:08:00.004-04:00

I was recently reprimanded for my lack of blogging (sorry Kinnor!) unfortunately, I don't have much to say! (I know, it's shocking for me as well).

Recently set up two friends. This was my first attempt at setting people up and so far I *think* it's going ok?
Boy is early 20s but has life together, owns own place and works hard in the same apprenticeship program as Nathan. Reads books (like, "literature" books, not Hustler), draws, holds the arts dear to his heart, etc.. He also thinks my husband is the bees' knees which of course I have to agree on.
Girl is late 20s, writes, totally a go-getter, will be teaching at at least TWO colleges in the fall, also a lover of "literature" and the arts.

Both love Jude (I know, who doesn't?!) and at least seem to tolerate his parents ;)

Boy looking for a woman who is mature and funny and who is successful in life.
Girl looking for a man with integrity, sense of humour and also shows promise/success in life.

How could I NOT think perhaps boy and girl maaaaaaaaaaaay get along?

Date #1 complete. Date #2 invite and acceptance has been arranged. Location/date pending.

Not bad for my first try huh?
(comic care of my sick sense of humour with age difference- Girl's gonna haaate me!)
Mwahahhahaaaaa

Baby Byle=20 Weeks!

2009-05-10T13:14:00.002-04:00

20 weeks pregnant

How your baby's growing

Your baby's putting on weight now and has turned into a slippery little thing -- a greasy white substance called vernix caseosa coats the entire body to protect the skin during its long submersion in amniotic fluid. Some babies are still covered with this whitish goo when they're born.

How your life's changing

Out of breath? Most women start to feel a bit like Thomas the Tank Engine, huffing and puffing up a short flight of stairs. Some breathlessness is normal and may get a little worse as your expanding uterus pushes up against your lungs, but tell your doctor or midwife if it gets out of hand. Also, make sure you're getting enough iron. Your baby needs it to make red blood cells, among other things. It's almost impossible to get too much from food alone, as long as you're not overeating. Iron-rich foods include lean red meat, poultry, fish, lentils, spinach, and iron-fortified cereals. Don't take supplements though, unless they're prescribed by your doctor.

Although pregnancy might sometimes feel like a one-woman show, it doesn't have to be that way. If your partner is going to be your labour partner, he'll want to know how he can help and how he can communicate your wishes to the professionals.

Pregnancy tip: A pineapple a day makes heartburn go away

"Fresh pineapple (eaten in small amounts) has helped reduce my heartburn." -- Jane

Happy 2nd Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T08:36:00.002-04:00

Um, did anybody else notice a year just went by?

I have to say, having a birthday (May 9th) and Mother's Day (2nd Sunday in May-this year May 10th) was an excellent plan (thanks Mum!). Now it's like a weekend of celebration like every year!!

This morning Halo woke me up AGAIN and I couldn't get back to sleep. I had told Nathan I wanted nice bagels and cream cheese for breakfast for Mother's Day but not to worry as we didn't get a chance to get any and I didn't want him running out 1st thing in the morning. Conveniently, being up at 6am I had time to shower and run out to Tim Horton's and get a couple of double-doubles as well as six bulk bagels for my Mother's Day breakfast!

Seems horrid right? Out driving so early on Mother's Day? I actually loved it! As the mom of a toddler I got to indulge in some rare pleasures that were taken-for-granted in my pre-mom days. These include:

a lengthy hot shower
shaving my legs (both top and bottom!)
taking time to get dressed
only taking my wallet & keys with me when I go out
driving alone
using the small basket they have at supermarkets (no cart!)
coming home to a quiet house

I came home to a pink rose plant for my rose garden (red is SO typical Nathan says) and a lovely card. I bring coffee up to Nathan, we chat and then he makes me a bagel with cream cheese while I relax on FB.
Fabulous ♥

Baby Byle=19 Weeks!

2009-05-02T09:29:00.001-04:00

You're halfway there! The top of your uterus now reaches your belly button and will grow about a centimetre per week. The fetus measures around 6 inches/ 15 centimetres long from crown to rump and weighs about 9 ounces/ 240 grams.

She has started to swallow amniotic fluid, and her kidneys continue to make urine. Hair on the scalp is sprouting.

Sensory development reaches its peak this week. The nerve cells serving each of the senses -- taste, smell, hearing, seeing, and touch -- are now developing in their specialised areas of the brain. Nerve cell production slows down as existing nerve cells grow larger and make more complex connections. If you're carrying a baby girl, she already has roughly six million eggs in her ovaries. By the time she's born, she'll have about one million.

You no doubt feel the kicking and somersaulting of your growing baby. At times, she may be so mobile that you can't sleep. The next ten weeks or so will be your baby's busiest and most active time, until the womb gets too crowded. Two will soon be three and that will mean lots of changes, so have a look at our sex and relationships section.

• Note: Experts say every baby develops differently -- even in utero. These fetal development pages are designed to give a general idea of how a fetus grows in the womb.

i love nathan byle

2009-04-29T21:22:00.000-04:00

that is all.

♥

Jude=14 months?!

2009-04-29T10:53:00.004-04:00

Wow.
I know parents everywhere say this but seriously, where does the time go?! I can't believe it was 2 years ago I was newly pregnant with Jude and now I am almost 5 months along with his brother or sister!

Jude is full-on running now. He is so excited to explore everything around him! He loves it outside and we've quickly discovered we have to teach him "danger" for the street as well as anything else he may come in contact with that could cause harm.
He's blowing kisses (my fave!) as well as waving bye-bye, not only when he leaves, but when others leave or when he's decided someone/thing needs to be waved at- too cute :) He now can sign 'please' (love it) as well as 'more' although he doesn't know when to use 'more' and uses 'please' instead. We are totally ok with this as manners are manners! The screeching for something got old fast so this is a much nicer dialogue. He also loves to play "Where's Jude?!", hiding under blankets or covering his face with his hands.

This kid is into everything! He knows when something is a toy and will give it its proper time, but then is off to discover a non-toy. DVDs and CDs are among his favourites. He has now mastered the 'crocodile tears' and can produce them at his will when told 'no' or something has been taken away. Hee hee.

I continue to be amazed at how much joy Jude brings us. I feel I can speak for both of us when we are excited to see Jude in the morning and to spend time with him doing new things. I think my current favourite is walking to Tim Horton's and having a family date :)
Jude is so good in restaurants too. He normally will sit quietly and people watch (gets that from me for sure) or amuse himself with the bucket of toys we bring with us. He is constantly charming men and women alike wherever we go! He especially loves walking up to people and looking at them as if to say, "Surprise!! I am here!!".
He's also started preferring Nathan to me. He fell the other day and only wanted Nathan (which we both loved).

He's still napping two full naps a day plus 12 hours at night. I am not concerned. I am exhausted just watching him tear around this house! He also likes to have quiet time in his crib and will often play with some books or just talk to himself for upwards of an hour!
I love this, as he's obviously learned that his bed/sleeping is not a punishment but a much-needed rest time.

He decided to pick on Lily, our new female cat, today. I kept telling him no and even lightly smacked his hand once (as he was being an outright bully!) but then left him to his demise. She is de-clawed so I knew not much would happen. As expected, within a minute of leaving the two to hash it out together I hear Jude crying- not because he was hurt, but because the cat told him to bugger off! (I assume she nipped him)
After consoling the little stinker for about 10 seconds, he promptly wanted down and started in at her again!! Obviously didn't learn THAT lesson!

♥

Living Up to My Full Potential!

2009-04-28T20:49:00.005-04:00

As a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) I get this a lot.

When asked what I do and my reply is "I am home with Jude" I get one of several reactions.

Oh ya? (raised eyebrow)
Oh, so when are you going back to work? (because obviously you WANT to?? You'd be wasting your life JUST being at home!)
How can you guys afford that?!
Good for you!

The varying answers are interesting eh?

My answers to the following reactions are as follows:

Yes and I love it! It's so great seeing my child's progress every day! I would be so upset knowing some stranger is seeing these things while I am working. Jude and I are so close and we really have a lot of fun together! Plus, with Nathan working, we feel it's really important for him to have the consistency of one parent always there in his life.
I'm not. At least not until my kids are in school full-time and even then I may not. Why would I have strangers watch my children reach all the most exciting milestones in their short lives at home so I can go work somewhere to pay them for this honour?*
It's not hard. We don't drive new cars, we don't have a fancy TV or stereo system, we don't go on vacations every year and other than that, we don't even notice finances. You take what you make and make it work.
Ya! It's so great. I love it :)

So ya, I think most stay-at-home parents would agree with me. The whole money issue is a cop-out. Sorry, but it is. If you need a double income so badly, you are probably living way beyond your means. That's not my prognosis, it's what I have been told. Of course, if a fancy car or vacation is what you like, than yes, you have to sacrifice somewhere and some people feel time with their children is the most dispensable.
Now before I get in trouble, let me also mention that some moms just are not the stay-at-home type. I get that. Although really, the whole "I need something to do or I go stir-crazy" argument is mute as any SAHM will tell you, there is always PLENTY to do! If you want to go back to work that is totally cool, you need to do what makes you happy-absolutely! But don't make yourself sound like a martyr :)

* To continue to response to #2.
I am sick and tired of people looking at 'poor me' WASTING my education and life at home! I have done the post-secondary education thing, the various jobs thing, the traveling thing, etc etc. Now I'm doing the most important job of my life thing and I am giving it my full 100% just like any of you do with your careers. I have never felt as fulfilled or satisfied with any career choice as I do with staying home with my child(ren). I am not wasting anything. Nor do I 'itch' to get 'back to work'-- HA! The days of 15 minute breaks and a lunch hour in which my biggest chore is maybe picking up a bottle of wine for dinner are past me now but I do not mourn them- I celebrate my new career and all the freedom and benefits it brings!

As with everything in my life I only have to ask myself one question to know whether I have made the right choice:

Q: Twenty years from now what decision will I look back on and be happiest with
a) Going back to work and having a new car/TV/etc?
b) Being home experiencing my child(ren) grow, laugh and play?

To me there is no choice.
and that means I am fully living my dream and up to my full-potential.

Anti-Mollycoddle Syndrome (AMS)

2009-03-25T14:48:00.003-04:00

So I got some flack from my latest FB status update stating I wanted to have a blah day without everyone trying to 'fix' me as it seems everyone but yours truly is allowed to have an off day.
I don't know if I set myself up for it but since elementary school it seems everyone can have a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day and treat others accordingly, but if I ever have the gall to perhaps not have a spectacular day and mention it, everyone runs to my aide wanting to make it better or wondering what my problem is...

Well, at long last you can all have the answer to your pressing questions!

MY PROBLEM is that I TOO can have a poopy day and not want to put on a smiley face! I TOO get discouraged and depressed and lonely and bitter and all those other emotions you normal humans face. Just because I generally can suppress such emotions to function normally in a social setting (some of you should be taking notes here) doesn't mean I'm a horrible, grouchy, b*tchy person if I just so happen to not want to one day.

My husband has not been home longer than 3 nights since November (except Christmas holidays), I chase after a toddler all day long, I'm pregnant and emotional, I have all the household chores to do including all of Nathan's, I have people breathing down my back to bring Jude to see them (with all my energy and desire to leave the house?) and am pretty much alone all day every day 5 days a week!

I DO NOT WANT YOUR PITY! I haaaate pity and don't deserve it. *shudder* and pleeeeeeease don't mollycoddle me or I'll punch you in the face.
Just a little perspective here people. Give a girl a break but at the same time don't make me feel like a little kid who needs taking care of.

I love my life and would not trade it to anyone. Some days it gets a little hairy and those are the days I need you to say... nope, I don't need you to say anything. As my friend Melissa (of course we're still friends!!) commented---> :(
That's all I really need.
♥

The Nose Screw

2009-02-12T12:31:00.004-05:00

Not a dirty action or a tool.. it is actually a devise of torture!

I was told by a friend I am reconsidering being friends with (not to mention any names... *cough* Hayley..) that the best nose ring to get is the screw. Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

Ok, now that it's in I have to say that I love it, she was right but there were some hopeless hours there for awhile. Also, in my defence, my screw was significantly less rounded than the one pictured here... more angles than a slope-y glide....

I called the place where I got pierced and they said to try and straighten it a bit with pliers (use a cloth so you won't wreck it) and I can come in if I need to and they will do it. Then I actually Googled "how to put in a nose screw" because I was having so much trouble. Ironically, there is a woman from the UK who blogs and had tips on this exact thing!

So.
Day #1.

Get home with new nose ring. I have a small, shorter one in but know this one is not a permanent fixture as it just doesn't feel secure. Take out 'filler' nose ring (Ouch! Does anyone else get that little tug of stinging right at the end of pulling out their straight nose ring?) and promptly wash hands and apply saline solution to nose top and inside, screw, etc. My nose at this point is pretty mad at me, a little pussy and pretty inflamed but I don't want it to get small from the 'filler' so I proceed with caution.

I take a few deep breaths and calm myself knowing this could take awhile. Awhile as in an HOUR!! No luck. It's almost as if my nose is pushing the srew out!!? It also seems the curve is two 90 degree-ish and not working with my dlicate features (i.e. small nose).
I message said 'almost not friend' and she says, "Ohhh, they didn't put it in for you? It's pretty tricky the first few times!" YA, no kidding! Thanks for the info..... pffft.

I put the filler back in (another little sting tug-I hate that) and disinfect like crazy and call it a day. Said friend and I decide I will wait a couple of days for swelling/irritation to go down and try again.

Go to bed with ring covered with a band-aid to forgo anymore "incidents".

Day #2.
Keep 'filler' clean and keep twisting it to make sure it doesn't get 'stuck' in one spot=tearing of healing skin=ouch.
Nose is healing very well and I can actually feel the difference in the swelling as it goes down.
Sleep with a band-aid again.

Day #3.
Today's the day! I am determined to get this puppy in today! I get the pliers from the garage, a baby face cloth to protect the screw and a whole crap load of qtips and saline solution. I set up shop in the bathroom while Jude is sleeping so I have no other things to bother me while I preform 'the insertion'.
I am calm, cool, collected and determined that this puppy's going in!
After the first few tries I am using the pliers and bending the curve out little by little to see how it slides in.
I try and stick the 'filler' in the other end to guide the screw... no luck. After more plier alterations I decide to try and stick the screw in from the inside (since it goes in but then stops every time-maybe there's an over-lapping area of skin? Who knows...) The end goes in from the inside no problem. Let's try from the outside again.
A couple of tries and done! It was so weird, it just slipped in with a litte twist!

Could I do it again? Pfft, doubt it but as said 'friend' advised, "Don't TOUCH it once you have it in!!". This seems like solid advice and is what I am sticking to.

So, there you go. My tips on nose screw insertion. Good luck!

P.S.
I know said 'friend' can handle my razzing and I still love her (there was never an otherwise time), although I am wary of future advise... ;)

25 Things That Bring Me Joy (So people don't think I am a bitter person)

2009-01-28T14:42:00.004-05:00

nathan byle
jude byle
jesus (i know, i know, he's supposed to be first. this list's in no particular order)
KD
wood stoves
having people over for dinner
green
summer
halo & lily
our little house
a hot shower/bath
people who are kind to others in those little ways that make a big difference although seem small
sitting around on a summer night chatting with good friends (preferably on front porch or around a fire)
jude's feet and toes
things that are fluffy (specifically animals)
accessories
the perfect pair of jeans
a great hair cut
coffeeeeeee
reading
visiting family and friends
spending time doing nothing with nathan
ordering dessert and coffee after a great meal
seafood
thanksgiving

Top 25 Annoying/Sad Things

2009-01-27T19:11:00.002-05:00

People who say things with no other purpose than to hurt you.
Strangers who think you don't know how to take care of your own child--"Don't forget to put his mittens on!"
When you gossip with someone (ya, ya, we all do it) and then they tell the person you were talking about what you said!!
People who cannot grasp the concept of a "passing lane". It's not a trick name! It REALLY is the passing lane!
When people think anyone who does something ever after them has copied them. Really, we ALL are going to do renos at some point.
People who want to 'keep up with the Joneses".
Tailgaters. PASS or BACK OFF! (Maybe they need to refer to #4)
People who insist on being crude in front of others.
People who forget there is a reason we don't ever say, "Wow, I wish I could go back to junior high!" It's because it SUCKED!! Stop acting like you're still there!!!!!!!
When you buy something at the dollar store and it totally doesn't work or breaks.
Not being appreciated or complimented.
When people who are not married, do not have kids, do not have a dog/cat, a mortgage, still go clubbing, etc., etc., make STUPID comments on how much people who have them don't ever want to go out, have fun, etc., anymore because they have said 'things'.
Canker sores.
How it is 'bad' for you to eat McDonald's every day.
When wives disrespect their husbands (especially in front of people).
When husbands do not show love (FREQUENTLY and in tangible, supportive ways) to their wives.
People who think Canadian politics (politics in general) are a joke/not important/etc.
How a direct result of eating delicious food (generally of the sugary variety) results in cavities.
When your snowblower breaks down in the middle of winter when your husband's away.
People who think you are "mean" to your kids if you treat them like kids instead of adults.
People who use #12 as an excuse to never leave the house again. Yes, the rest of us know you do it and it makes us look bad!
Christians who make the rest of us look like uneducated, ignorant, judgemental snobs with no tolerance.
Parents who do not tell their kids they are proud of them and that they love them.
Kids who think their parents are idiots and treat them as such.
People who are not handicapped or parents with kids and park in reserved spots!!!!!

25 Things About Me

2009-01-27T19:10:00.000-05:00

1. I am content with who I am.
2. I can be very negative.
3. My dad was very oppressive growing up.
4. Though I act like I don't care, it hurts me when people don't get my intended meaning and lash out.
5. I think I am a darn good mom!
6. I have the best husband. No, no, that wasn't a question.
7. I have very few regrets in life.
8. My biggest regret is letting a past boyfriend change me and lose friends because of it.
9. I have come to terms that I will never be under 130lbs again. Nor do I really care.
10. I love being in my 30s.
11. I hate when others' kids have the same name as mine (I copied you Joan, it's so true!).
12. I have an old soul with a young heart.
13. I have never been to Florida.
14. I don't think I have any secrets..
15. Animals fascinate me, I could watch them for hours. (kinda stolen from Joan)
16. I wish I could hang out with my brother more.
17. Sometimes I am ashamed to admit I am a Christian, not because I don't believe but because of the stipulations involved.
18. I have a hard time focusing during phone calls, I am constantly multi-tasking and rarely paying full attention to you.
19. I would like to be a fly on the wall in most households.
20. Bad grammar and spelling irritate me, more so when it is my own.
21. I will never go back to PC.
22. I am addicted to cola beverages, Pepsi being my preferred brand.
23. Coke used to be my preferred brand.
24. I love living in a small town.
25. My husband is my hero.

I get by with a little help from my friends

2009-01-14T20:59:00.003-05:00

While I was out for dinner this evening some very dear friends came over, fixed our snowblower and plowed our driveway.
I wonder;
if people who do things like that know how much they affect you and the world around them?
if they know how that one thing changes your whole week?
how, just by being themselves they are wonderful.
♥

The Day from Hell

2009-01-14T16:45:00.002-05:00

So.
I was REALLY hoping for a snow day today and when I woke up and there wasn't one, I knew it was going to be an iffy day.

First off, I told the Chamber of Commerce I would sub in for them for a couple of weeks until they found a permanent replacement. Last time I was there covering for a vacation, I brought Jude and we had a gay-ol' time. THIS time was very different.

So, I get up and get myself and Jude ready to battle the freezing cold and foot deep snow I have not plowed in a couple of days because we haven't gone anywhere. Jude is already fussy. I should have listened to that small voice in my head that said, "RUN!!!!!!!!!" but alas, hindsight is 100% (right Sarah?!)
So, I pile Jude and the various stuff you need to bring with you to entertain a one-year old into his sled. His sled tips in the snow. He actually enjoys this part and laughs! We continue on huffing and puffing down the street.
Arrive at work. There are 4 stairs going into the office. (Our town is old and apparently against wheelchair and stroller access). I bring in the bags and then go back to get Jude. Bring Jude in and go back to get sled. Jude is freaking out in the 5 seconds it took me to get the sled. NOT a good sign.
We get into the office. The child is happy and I am sweaty!
Within 5 minutes the child is NOT happy.
Whiny and clingy but not satisfied by anything but Arrowroot cookies.
I get NO work done the whole time I am there. Cannot figure out how to attach scaned pages to emails and neither do I get a chance to troubleshoot since Grouchy-mc-groucherson is whining and grabbing at everything in sight.
I arrived at 9:30 and by 10:30 I am done. I cannot go on and must go home or one of us will die.
I make arrangements, feeling quite guilty and unprofessional, and proceed to get all stuff back into sled and home.
Home is uphill. Huffing and puffing I make it home.
I throw (I am being facecious, I obviously place dhim gently) Whiny in his crib and he falls asleep instantly (fyi, I knew he was tierd, but when you put a 1 year-old in a new place to explore, he ALWAYS will skip sleep to enjoy the fun-darn you Murphy and your law!!!!!) and I collapse on the couch pooped and still angry at Murphy.
I decide before I get too comfortable I will plow out driveway. I notice of course, the part we drive on has snow 6-12inches deep and the front where we do not drive has snow 2inches deep (murphy-grrr).
I prime the snowblower and pull.
The belt fell off.
ARRRRRGHHHHHHHH!
I grab a shovel because my husband's pet peeve is that mound you get at the end of your driveway from driving over the plow's work. I shovel from the door to both sides of the car and then leave the rest of the driveway and shovel out the end which of course is heavy and stiff from sitting for a couple of days.
I come in, trow everything on the floor and go upstairs to read and fall asleep.
I wake up and it's a new day! Since then, everything has been fine.

Fingers crossed.

Props to you full-time single moms. I don't know how you do it when I struggle from a few weeks of night shift.

In Case of Fire

2009-01-08T21:43:00.004-05:00

Any parents you talk to say they would give their life for their child. Obviously this is a given. Last night when I couldn't sleep this discussion went through my head:

I read a book stating how important it is for children to know their parents are in love and each other's #1. It talks about how you should let your children know that they are not #1, but that your spouse is. Interesting eh?
Think about it though, generally your worst childhood memories were of your parents fighting. I personally was always left with a terrified feeling of, "Will they get divorced?!". I know, I know, most kids (myself included) think this if their parents argue over what to have for dinner but you know what I mean.
A close friend of ours once told Nathan that she asked her dad once who he loved more, her or her mom. Without skipping a beat the dad replied, "Your mom". Point blank, no ifs, ands or buts. At first I was kinda shocked but after thinking about it, why would his answer be any different? Our friend says that that one answer was HUGE in how she looked at and respected her parents. The answer did not leave her feeling less loved but more loved in that she was secure in her parents' love for one another and in turn, for her.

So here's my question.

If your house was burning and you could only save one, who would you save? Your child or your spouse?
My first reaction was, "My child!" but then I thought about it and examined the situation from varying angles.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my baby boy. He is my joy. Loosing him would almost kill me. A piece of my would die inside. There is nothing that can replace his place in my heart. There has never been anyone I have been as selfless with as I have been with him. He needs me. For the first 13 months of his life I was his everything. I carried him inside of me, kept him warm and fed and growing. He fed off of me to stay alive and thrived. He is a piece of me. Literally.

I also love my husband. I can't even describe to you how strong that word is. To find the love of my life took years. To find my one special person I am willing to give everything to is a miracle in and of itself. My husband is my confidant, my best friend (with you Shelley ♥), my partner in everything and the love of my life. Who's to say I could ever find that again?
If my husband died, how would I go on? Who would take his place and would anyone ever take his place? Who would I grieve with? No one on this earth knows me better than Nathan does. No one.

A piece of me
or
irreplaceable.

A person once told me that crying without tears is the worst form of crying. And they were right- because the weeping of the soul hurts so much more and no one can console you because no one can see, and even if they can they do not reach its tremendous depth.

This is a tribute to all those who have felt the anguish of tearless sobs and broken spirits. May God guide you through it, and may those you love be there for you when the tears start to fall and every moment after.

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

Kahlil Gibran
http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://farm1.static.flickr.com/37/84987452_bb8acdb2f8.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/photos/aphrodite/84987452/&usg=__agi_TI56jrRN60m_fpUM4IRhepw=&h=375&w=500&sz=60&hl=en&start=9&sig2=H_3sixVJonGipVs34Pm1Dg&um=1&tbnid=3AtQaKv3P40ZGM:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&ei=kchmSef7DYb-MuGs4J0H&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcrying%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1B3GGGL_enCA269CA269%26sa%3DN

Happy 1st Birthday Jude!

2009-01-03T22:15:00.005-05:00

Sorry, sorry, sorry!
I know I missed 10 and 11 months and this post will be (relatively?) short as I have a baby boy's 1st birthday to get going.
Can you believe it's been a year already?!? WHERE does the time go? This time last year I was overdue 4 days and thinking I would have to get induced. Little did I know what was going to happen at 5am the next morning!

Jude, Gran and Grampa at his party!

People always tell you time speeds up as a result of two things: you're getting older or you have a child you're watching grow up. Well ladies and gentlemen, I can honestly say they are right on both counts!
We had a little party today for Jude. My parents, Nathan's mom, sister and her kids celebrated with us. I made a white cake and decorated it all by myself. Us new moms have to represent you know.
So Jude got super spoiled with lots of cute outfits and toys. I think his favourite part was sitting on the living room floor with Kayley and Brenna surrounded by a million bits of popcorn. They were SO happy and content, just hanging out eating a favourite snack. It was so nice to remember being so content and seeing my son living his life with joy.
We got Jude a Mr Potato Head family and I am super excited about it. I have always wanted one and am always buying them for children I know living vicariously through them. My day has come when I *ahem* I mean JUDE will have one too!

Eating his birthday cake

Jude now says, "Mamma" and "Dadda" all the time. He is constantly cooing and making all sorts of noises trying out his voice. His new favourite game is to climb a couple of stairs (which he can go up AND down now) and then call for Nathan (Dadda! DADDA!) until he comes he "comes to get (you)" him. It can only be Nathan that goes to "get" him. Momma won't do. Yesterday we started him on homoginized milk (or "big boy" milk as Nathan calls it) and it was an easy switch. He is completely on solids now! He took his first step on December 27th (OF COURSE I was not home!!) and has been making little steps once in a while ever since. We thought for sure he would have been walking by Christmas this year but I guess these things take time- haha. Jude is VERY curious and likes to study and explore everything. Jude also loves books and getting read to. Oh, he reads!! The cutest ever, he picks up his books and 'reads' them aloud for all to hear. We LOVE watching and listening to him read.
We have discovered that when scared or in a new place or strange place, Jude will only sleep peacefully if he's in bed with us. Obviously this is not a habit we want to encourage in the long run but for now it's pretty darn cute :)

Opening his presents in his new outfit

I think that is all the new Jude news for now.
Nathan and I are doing really well. We love being parents and are a killer tag team if I do say so myself. He has been on holidays for two weeks and we all have been LOVING having him at home all day every day. We have had lots of great quality time together, which we all love. Although Jude loves his Mommy, Daddy is creeping into favourite position, which I have to admit, I love.

Our little family ♥

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2008-12-23T08:03:00.001-05:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

Must Sees of the Season!

2008-12-13T16:22:00.003-05:00

Tonight Nathan and I are going to make a stir-fry and watch at least one Christmas movie. This got me to thinking of various Christmas movies I love (all are favourites of mine) that I think you should all watch. The list is in no particular order as all of the following movies are fantastic.

1. Love Actually
2. The Holiday
3. Elf
4. Family Man

These should fill up a few hours of your holidays. Trust me on these ones, you won't be disappointed ♥

Peak Freans Lifestyle Cookies

2008-11-28T19:49:00.002-05:00

are delicious and nutricious!
I have tried Blueberry Brown Sugar Flax and Lime Coconut.
Seriously. Just buy them.

Fabulous.

http://www.kraftcanada.com/SiteCollectionImages/ImageRepository/4/LifestyleCookies_EN.jpg

RIP Sammie

2008-11-20T13:12:00.002-05:00

In celebration of Sammie's short life, we are putting up our Christmas decorations every November 18th :)

Jude's New Boots

2008-11-11T22:08:00.002-05:00

These are Jude's winter boots. He will probably be walking by January but buying outdoor boots for such small feet that won't be walking very far in snow seems a little redundant. These will last Jude as well as Baby Byle and so on :) I tried to get brown but they were sold out. I figure blue (though traditionally for boys) can work for boys or girls (as opposed to pink). They are so soft and cushy inside and he looks super cute in them. The best part about Robeez is that they stay on even when they're too big. They are made of leather so baby's feet stay warm but not too hot :)

I got Jude this outfit for Christmas, except in black.

2008-11-07T20:57:00.003-05:00

www.knuckheadsclothing.com

(they have pink for girls...)

Welcome Back Mum!

2008-11-06T14:52:00.004-05:00

After many long months of my mum being unable to access Byle & Byle & Byle Inc. she has been vindicated!
We're not sure if it's a fluke at work, but we can all look forward to more posts because really, wouldn't you all write more if you knew you mum was reading? Heck yes you would :)
Here's a video for you Mum!
♥

My Future Kitchen

2008-10-30T09:21:00.005-04:00

This is what I will (?) have in my kitchen when it's done. Antiqued white cupboards (to the ceiling topped with crown moulding), classic back splash and some sort of stone (at least looking) counter. I LOVE the ladder which I need as our ceilings are higher and I already can't reach the back of the second shelf in our kitchen now!
Notice, (Erin, you'll be impressed) the two colours of cupboards (maybe 3? hard to tell) in this kitchen.
(Style at Home, May 2008)

RIP Hamilton Beach Brewmaster: December 2004-October 2006

2008-10-24T10:51:00.003-04:00

Hamilton Beach: BrewStation® 12 Cup Coffeemaker With Timer

RIP Brewmaster.
Great because it brews fast and keeps coffee warm and fresh for two hours then shuts off automatically so you don't need to worry about it burning, etc. when you leave the house.
Ours lasted 4 years minus 2 months. Really good for a coffee maker as far as I've heard. Obviously not for gourmet situations but lovely for everyday and quick cups. 2 pieces to rinse out and no glass to break!!

OK Mary Kay!

2008-10-20T12:41:00.003-04:00

So I've decided to become a Mary Kay consultant! It's a long story but in short, if you need anything or would like a free makover/facial I'm your girl!
Any orders you make will be in in a matter of a few days and if we're doing a makeover/facial you can but products right then!

Contrary to popular belief, it's not for old ladies anymore. I super want the compact below, you can buy whatever colours or makeup you want to fill it!

Anyway, it's for fun right now, something to keep me in the world of grown-ups.

Closet Full of Clothes and Nothing to Wear.

2008-10-18T14:03:00.002-04:00

How is that possible? What do you wear to a fall wedding that is all reception? Anyone? Anyone?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-10-12T14:29:00.003-04:00

Hope you all have a wonderful time with your family and friends this weekend.
We have the privilege of living in the best country in the world so let's all be truly thankful for everything we have!

Religulous? I'll Tell YOU What's Religulous!

2008-10-03T14:18:00.004-04:00

Suddenly Bill Maher has become someone people look to for answers to life's greatest questions. Now, besides the fact that you people are about as sharp as a Q-tip, let's discuss WHY Bill Maher is NOT someone you should be taking Anti-Theology 101 with...

Um, ohhhh he has NO training from let's see.... ANYWHERE?!?! People are basing their world views on what a guy who judges others based on his own ignorance, without any educational commitment to his views what so ever? Seriously? A guy who, basically, has just told over 90% of the world they are stupid without batting an eye and we're hailing him as someone we look to for answers?

And people with faith (in any god at this point) are the stupid ones. Riiiiight...

As you can tell and for those of you who know me, I am a Christian. Yes, I have heard every comment about my belief system from pretty much anyone I encounter. People feel the need to comment and whatever, I am confident enough in myself and my decisions to listen RESPECTFULLY (some of you atheists should look that word up) and take what I can out of the discussion.

Let me clear up a few discrepancies about my faith.

No, I do not jump around crying and trowing myself on the floor when I "worship" God. No, not even though I go to a Pentecostal church.
No, I don't know why God allows all this suffering in the world, although I DO KNOW that we all, yes, even the atheists, have free will and ohhhhh, about 99% of the bad stuff in this world is caused by US!!
No, I don't think little Betty-Sue deserved to get cancer and die. Why her? Why anyone? No one "deserves" cancer, even grouchy Ol' Man Smith.
Did you know that I TOO understand that the things done in the past and present in the name of God are horrible things? Did you also know that I TOO know a little about Christian history and the selling of indulgences, etc, etc. and yes, I TOO think it was rubbish?
No, I do not throw out platitudes when things are rough, "Praise the Lord" although a very lovely saying, is something I never say. If you're mom is dying, I will never say to you, "It's the Lord's will". Being a Christian involves having a whole lotta tact and again, some of you atheists could learn from that!!
No, I do think everyone is going to Heaven. No, I don't think it's for me to decide and if you're really that concerned, why not ask God? Oh wait, you don't believe in Him...

So, I guess I will sum up this rant with my main point.

Let's say there is no God.
Why is murder wrong? It hurts people. Why is hurting people wrong? If I like to hurt people, why shouldn't I? Why do people think they shouldn't hurt people? They have no reason to think they shouldn't. If there is no God than morals are not absolute. Morals can be made and changed depending on the individual. If there is no God, then there is no Heaven, so it won't be because you want to be good to get there. If there is no God then there can't be a Satan so there's no hell, so no worries about being "bad" enough to go there...

Unless we adopt a George Castanza theology. Only to believe in God for the bad stuff... I guess if you want to base your whole existence on a fictional character's belief system, you are more than welcome to, don't let me stop you.

But I don't want to hear any more about people with faith being stupid...

Momhood: 9 Months In

2008-10-03T12:14:00.005-04:00

Wow.
I have officially been a mom as long as I was pregnant. Which I guess would mean I have been a mom for 18 months now. 9 months to an unborn baby and 9 months to a born baby? I don't even know how to grammatically go about that sentence. Aaaannnywayyyy...

Jude is fully on the move now, exploring and touching anything he can. He is full-out crawling and pulling himself up and walking along furniture. If he keeps progressing like this, I think he may walk (haltingly) by Halloween!

Verbally, he hasn't been doing much although he is more apt to talk to himself and around others now. He likes to play "repeat after me" in the car, where he makes a sound and then Nathan or I have to repeat the sound. He keeps making up more complex sounds, trying out different pitches and volumes. It's so so cute :)

He has started being a little fussy at the dinner table. He usually loves everything but can get fussy when he wants breads or fruits. Nothing else will do. He is a boy after mummy's own heart ♥
When given a Mum Mum or equivalent, he proudly holds it up in the air for you to admire and will even offer to let you have some, which he thinks is quite funny.

When Jude's really excited he sucks in his breath like we would when someone walks up behind us and scares us. It's so cute and he loves doing it.
He loves people and animals, much to Halo's chagrin! He starts laughing and sucking in his breath when Halo allows him to get close enough to touch him. You can tell Halo's thinking to himself, "YOU AGAIN?! How long do I have to tolerate this kid? *SIGH*"

Jude loves going to the grocery store and sitting in the front of the cart. He looks around and charms everyone and not a trip goes by without several people stopping and saying hi, commenting on his hair or big blue eyes. He of course loves it. When he feels I am a little too pre-occupied, he leans towards me from his seat for a quick hug to reasure himself and then is fine again. He also likes to do this when I am talking to someone, just to show that I am his mummy, not yours. It's my favourite part of grocery shopping!

As for us, we still love being parents. Teething is no fun (btw, Jude has 4 teeth now! His two top ones came in at the same time around September 20th) and besides pumping our baby full of Motrin, singing to and rocking him, there is no way to get him to sleep. Other than bed times though, he was perfectly happy!
Nathan's been working 12 hour shifts so I try and keep Jude up for him when he gets home at 7:30pm. Jude's figured out the routine though and WANTS to go for a nap around 6:30 and then without fail, wakes up at about 8:00 when he knows Daddy is home. After a short visit and a snack, he goes back to bed around 9pm. It's pretty cute and Nathan loves being able to see Jude, even if it is only for a short time.

What's really becoming clear to us though, is that childhood is such a very short time. So, Nathan, Jude and I have strapped ourselves in and are holding tight as we expereince this ride together.

Don't worry if you hear screeching, it's just us, enjoying the ride.

I ♥ Fall

2008-10-02T10:34:00.003-04:00

What's not to love?
Big comfy sweaters, crunchy leaves, brisk mornings followed by moderate afternoons?

Thanksgiving!!!

Which just happens to be my favourite holiday! The last one to be super commercialized (thanks to Halloween). It's such a great time to be around family and friends eating and catching up. The leaves already making a rainbow as you walk or drive down the road?

It just seems so peaceful after the event-packed summer. It's like nature's way of winding us down for winter but at the same time going out with a bang! It's time to sloooow down people and enjoy the ride. This life doesn't get any slower. Things, people and events are flying by and we're missing them because we're too busy!

I say, "Welcome Fall! Help us to appreciate all that life has to offer."

Photo: Radeka Photography

Jude Law Out, Ewan MacGregor In

2008-09-15T21:41:00.003-04:00

Nathan, Jude and I went to Shopper's last week and as soon as I walked in the door I was greeted by this.

I have always appreciated all that is Ewan MacGregor. You don't know Ewan until you hear him sing. I suggest you watch "Moulin Rouge" to get the full effect of his sexiness.

He is also Scottish.

I'm getting Nathan the cologne.

Taking Back Control

2008-09-10T18:17:00.004-04:00

I was watching Oprah today.

She had on Elizabeth Smart, the girl who was kidnapped by the cult guy for nine months.

Elizabeth was very matter of fact about her experience and had a great peace about the whole thing.

The thing that struck me the most was when she was talking about being home for a week and her mom saying (paraphrased), "They do not have control over you anymore. What they did was in the past and if you hold on to it, then you continue to give them control."

It's so true eh?

I was challenged to think of things in my past that have hurt me and wondered if I had "let them go" or if I was still giving those people and circumstances control over my life.

I won't let you know my conclusions but I found it to be rather therapeutic. Why DO we give people who hurt us so much control over our lives?! They of all people do not deserve a second more of my (or your!) time. You know those people who say things that hurt you and it seems like constant digs that just seem to mount up over time until you think that maybe those people who snap and simply "take out" the person that has hurt them have something there??

Starting today, I am taking back control.

Momhood: 8 Months

2008-09-06T15:17:00.003-04:00

Where did 7 months go?!
It seems time really does go faster and faster as you get older, or at least when there is something enjoyable going on. Raising an eight-month old child, definitely falls under the "enjoyable" category!

Jude is now fully crawling, (walrus style) and can go from sitting to crawling to sitting again! No more face plants :) His vocabulary is growing almost daily. He now shouts out, "Maaa Maaa!" when he wants me and this morning he shout out, "Daaa Daaa!". Nathan was quick to come to his rescue. "Ba ba ba" is still his favourite and he will whisper it when you have him up close and he is concentrating. Very cute.

We bought some of those foam rubber interlocking squares for our living room as the hard wood is hard on his poor little knees. This way, at the end of the day we can just lift up the 4 four foot squares and we have our grown-up room back :)

Oh! Sunday past, (august 31) Nathan taught Jude how to pull himself up to standing in his crib! Jude was so proud of himself and I thought it was great because now we KNOW to always put the railing up and not have to find out through disasterous means.

Jude continues to try more solids daily. His fave is still Cheerios but he has never rejected anything, so that's great! Today we went on a nice walk to Tim Horton's and Jude had his first Timbits-Old Fashioned Plain. He ate the peice we gave him and immediately looked at me with a, "You've been holding out on me!!" look. He thouroughly enjoyed both Timbits.

Everywhere we go we continue to build Jude's fan club. Men and women stop us and always tell us how they love Jude's hair or eyes and then follow it up with, "He's such a happy baby!".

We are very proud parents (obviously) and take great pride in knowing we are raising a little gentleman. Personally, we both firmly believe that it is never too early to start teaching manners. Obviously it's different for an 8 month-old. If he burps, we say, "Excuse you!". We also try to curb the "screaming when I want something" reaction. You can tell he knows what we're saying, although still does not listen very well! Something to work on :) We encourage him to "say 'hello'" and stuff like that. You know, just making common curtesy something routine in his life. Nothing too earth shattering, but we want it to be just that, routine-so he is polite without even thinking about it, just because that is when you do.

We were at the Travellodge this week and the manager gave Jude a little bear with their logo on it. He loves that thing! I told the manager to take promo pics. He liked the idea :)

I think that is all. Next month Jude has his 9 month check-up. We'll see how much he's grown!

You're Probably on the List but Don't Even Care!

2008-09-04T10:36:00.005-04:00

So today's one of those days when I am irritated with the world in general. You know those days when everyone kinda annoys you for no particular reason, just because you're cranky and you feel like being cranky and you don't particularly feel like NOT being cranky.

I just want to be cranky.

That is all, no excuses or reasons.

I also have decided that everything and pretty much everyone (except Hayley, she convinced me to take her off of the list) is geh. Again, just because. Sorry if you have been roped into being guilty of gehness of no fault of your own than your own existence, but that's the way the cookie crumbles and life is hard and then you die. Suck it up buttercup.

And don't go whining to me about being on the list. I even put Jude on the list. He woke up at 5:30am so though he is cuteness and 8 months old today, he is on the list.

Odds are good that tomorrow you will not be on the list although some of you, well... you're permanently on the list, but you know what? You probably don't even know you're on the list and THAT is precisely WHY you are a permanent resident of the list. You know what else? YOU PEOPLE are the reason today is geh day! You make it bad for everyone else by being so geh and then worst of all, you don't even care!!!

You know who you are.
*ugh*

Momhood: 7 Months In

2008-08-25T23:24:00.004-04:00

Momhood.
I continue to love it and love it more and more every month!
Just when you think, "No, THIS is my favourite stage!" you love the next one even more!

Not too many firsts this month although Jude did say, "Da-dee" a couple of times as well as one "Mum-mee". We're not getting too excited but it's a start!
He has almost got going from sitting to crawling, only mild face plants now :) He does crawl but "walrus style" not moving his arms, pretty funny to watch! He is also trying really hard to pull his way up when we are lying with him. He has got the strength and mechanics of walking, one foot in front of the other (with us holding his hands), but lacks the balance and coordination needed to make it happen.
I almost forgot!! Teeth! Two of them! Front bottom. Nathan discovered them while we were staying with my parents. He got this worried look and told me he wanted me to look at something in Jude's mouth. I was so happy that he found them, it's nice for dads to see the firsts too!

Jude started eating Cheerios last week and they are definitely baby crack! He eats those things like they're going out of style! Tonight my friend Nick and I went to Crabby Joe's with Jude and he was super content the whole meal as long as I kept pumping out the Cheerios. Why wasn't I told these small o's were the secret weapon of baby contentment?!

Not that Jude needs a lot of appeasing. I am constantly getting comments on what a happy, content baby he is and he really is! I have seen actual tears only a couple of times. We also get many compliments on his big blue eyes, blond spiky hair and how beautiful he is. Now, I know we are biased, but who can argue with so many women AND men?

Today Jude discovered that his voice has 'pitches' and was practising "aahhhha aahhhh" for a good 15 minutes while I Facebooked. It was very cute and entertaining! He concentrates so hard, eyebrows furrowed. Very cute.

He continues to love the outdoors. He will sit for hours in his stroller or on a blanket just loving the sights, sounds and smells I guess :)

Jude and his girlfriend Aven have been practising kissing. It's pretty darn cute. She is about 9 months older than he is so she's obviously more advanced but he is definitely leaning in there!!

My fave is how snuggly he is. He is often most content to just lie in my arms and rest his head on my chest while sucking on his bottom lip to self-sooth. He also continues to love music. Most times we can get Jude to stop fussing just by starting to sing a song. His new fave is "Knick Knack Patty Wack" in which I alter the lyrics to include his name.

Eg:
This old man,
He played one,
He played Knick Knack on Jude's bum!

He loves it.
So do i.
<3

Mediocrity at its Best!

2008-08-04T12:41:00.003-04:00

So our church had its 70th anniversary party yesterday...
I KNOW i am biased but i thought the team did a really great job, good choice of hymns and worship for the 100s of people who were there celebrating.

THEN this lady gets up to sing...

She sings one of those ol' hymns that brought comfort to her time and is loved by all the old people. Sounds nice eh? Not my cup of tea, but i'm not the only demographic in the church so we have to compromise.

She sings the first verse of the song and doesn't seem to sure of herself...then comes the chorus and she stops!!! She asks the sound guy to start over! "I really felt the Lord wanted me to memorize this song" she says... was she kidding!?!?!?! Then why didn't she!?!?

She starts again.

She gets through but forgets various lines and takes cues from her CASSETTE tape that she gave the sound guy 5 minutes INTO the service (which she was late for). As Nathan said, "We didn't even have the tape player hooked up to the system anymore!"

She ends with a robust bridge of, "Just like MOSES! Just like DAVID!! Like, Shadrach, Meshack and ABENDIGOOOOOOOOOO...HE'LL DO IT AGAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!"

I had to leave the service.
Nathan, bless his heart, tried to make it look like I was convulsing in "emotion" at the beauty of the song.

Car Seats, Bikinis and Unfamiliar Vehicles

2008-07-08T16:01:00.003-04:00

I decide today would be a great day to go to the beach as it's crazy humid and a Tuesday so it wouldn't be too busy.

HAAAAAAAAAA!
I pack up our stuff which was still pretty together from Sunday's trip and we head out to the van ( I am borrowing Nathan's parents' van while Nathan has our car in Burlington).
First things first I have to put Jude's new car seat in the car. HA!
This was the WORST possible thing for me to do! WITH the instructions it took me like half and hour!!!!! (let's remember it's like 99.9% humidity today!) It was so confusing and everything you had to do had some insane way of doing it. Tightening straps involved slipping them through various holes (which of course are too tight!!), positioning the seat so it is level, even slipping the seatbelt through was a process (which of course I had to redo a couple of times to fix other things that needed adjusting because you can't just adjust the straps by pulling them, you have to take the seat out and do it!)
The whole time Jude's sitting in the grass and was very patient but even he was loosing it by the time I just took the whole seat and sat on the porch to work it out!
We drive to Canadian Tire to get a beach umbrella. I have to search through stuff thinking I had forgotten my wallet and would have to go home after ALL that!! (Phewf! It was in a different pocket).
Get umbrella and head to the beach.
As soon as I put the van into "park", Jude starts rubbing his eyes (signifying Nap Time). I am determined to go!!
Unload backpack, beach bag, umbrella and baby. Carry all items to beach.
AS SOON AS we are set up, the wind picks up and throws sand ALL OVER US!! It's like a sand storm, in our faces, hair, clothes, etc. Thank God I just bought the umbrella!! We hid under it for about 2 minutes and then I said, "THAT'S IT!! WE'RE GOING HOME!!"
NOW because there is sand blowing I don't want to leave Jude on the ground so I have to hold him and try and make sure he doesn't get sand in his face. He's crying and I am bunkered down with all the same stuff I just carried with ease but it's much harder as it's not all nicely packed up anymore and I can't pack it with one hand!!
I walk back to the car dropping things every 5 feet. People are watching me obviously having a hard time and nobody even offers to pick anything up! Three teenagers in itsy bitsy bikinis watch me like a hawk from 10 feel away and do NOTHING!!!!!!!!! they must have been too sexy to care about us "common folk".

I get to the van, after stepping on a pebble that hurt like a son of a gun (because I didn't put my shoes back on as sand and flip flops are not a good combo...) and for the life of my cannot get the back open. I press "unlock" like 1000 times and nothing!!!!! ARGH! I put all my stuff on the ground and put Jude in his seat (unbuckled for now-didn't have time to get into THAT again!) and throw the stuff under his seat and around him (it's a 2 minute drive). Jude is still freaking out, covered in sand and tired.
(DISCLAIMER: I am VERY thankful to my in-laws for lending me their vehicle!! I think it is SO sweet that they thought of me and gave me their van for 3 weeks while Nathan is away!! I am merely adding why my horrible beach experience was enhanced with an unfamiliar vehicle...)
I get in the front seat with NOTHING nice to say about stupid minivans which are SUPPOSED to make things easier!! Those sliding doors are so heavy and impossible to close without almost slamming them! Also, only the driver side door unlocks when you stop the car, you have to click the "Unlock" button to get the other doors to open, grrr. The windows only go up and down if the car is actually "on". With our car, after you turn off the engine, you can still do up the windows as long as you don't open the doors, so THAT takes a lot of getting used to.
So I drive home like a bat out of hell because I am TICKED and figure the longer I am out of the house the more I could encounter...
I get home, get Jude out and leave everything else in the car. Walking to the house (still in bare feet) and step on another stupid pebble!!!
ARGH!
Now I'm home, I'm sweaty, I'm cranky and I'm ready for a VERY stiff drink... unfortunately we only have pop right now...Hayley, it's definitely a two-coke day!!

Momhood: 6 Months In!!! Half a Year!!!!

2008-07-07T18:18:00.006-04:00

Where does the time go?
My baby boy is half way to becoming a "toddler". Already we can see his little personality coming through, he is so snugly, loves to cuddle and snuggle just like Nathan. He gets so excited now when a meal is coming (just like me-haha), slamming his hands on his booster seat tray and saying "OOO oOOO!" like a little monkey...it's quite funny!
It has come to the point where I cannot show an ounce of cleavage or that means time to eat and there is a whine fest coming if I don't quickly distract!
He is SO determined to crawl, he's doing push-ups, kicking his legs and rocking-he just needs to put everything together and he'll be off!
He bursts into laughter whenever he sees me after a nap or I have been away. He's totally a mamma's boy (for now!) but I can see the future and if refusing to stay flipped over for a diaper change is a sign... the cuddles will be short lived (unless they are stolen in the quiet minutes before and after a nap).
I just read Hayley's "One Year" post and am feeling very nostalgic.
She's a beautiful writer and has inspired me to be more descriptive and sentimental with my writing. After all, these are memories that I will keep forever!
I love this baby boy more than I can ever explain. Sometimes I check on him just to see if maybe he'll wake up so that I can spend time with him. I'm afraid I will forget things, afraid I won't remember what it's like to see that gummy smile or little bum clenched so tight as he frantically tries to roll away from a diaper change.
We went to the beach for the 1st time yesterday and Jude loved the water, sand and sun. He loves being outside and will sit forever just looking and listening. He has mastered the Jolly Jumper, looking all Highland dancer for his mummy and daddy :) Nathan came home after his 1st week away training and was shocked Jude knew how to full-out use the Jolly Jumper. "When did he start that? Look how high he jumps!" I had taken for granted the slow 5-day progression to skilled jumping!
Trying to slow time is impossible, but commitment to truly cherishing it as it whizzes by is pleasantly obtainable goal.
I love you Judies, remind me to play more ok?

"Blooming" Rediculous

2008-07-05T13:07:00.004-04:00

So we're in the process of getting our backyard transformed into an outdoor room. Obviously this is a pretty large endeavour but we've decided to stick it out and so far things have been moving along pretty smoothly.

Yesterday I called every landscaping/stone/quarry within about a one hour radius of our house looking for 1-1.5 inch flagstone, enough to cover a 500sq/foot patio. Apparently this will take about 4 tonnes (2 skids) worth of stone. No problem. Most places I called charged about $250/tonne, some charged $425/tonne and others charged $4.50-$5.50/foot!! I found a place in Lions Head (an hour and a half north of here) that sells it for $155. They are prompt in replying to every single email back and forth and I check out their website, talk to the guy on the phone and decide they are 1st place in the running, but I would call a few more places. They charge $125/hour to deliver so HE suggested that I either transport it myself or hire someone who may be cheaper. Lions Head is about an hour and a half north, so delivery would be a sizable chunk of cash.
Ken Jackson Construction, who were currently levelling our backyard, offered to pick it up for a very reasonable price (significantly less!). I was highly impressed with their service already as Ken himself came to our house the very next day after I called to do an estimate and then also came the afternoon of construction (2 days later!) to make sure the guys knew what to do. His employees were beyond kind and though they were all aware my husband was away, they did not make me feel ignorant/like a girl when asking questions about decisions to be made. The guys knew I was looking for flagstone and suggested various places to call and helped me come to the decision to go with Lions Head Stone as they were the cheapest by far and it would be worth the extra money in transport to get someone to get it for us, etc.
I could have got thicker stone for like $50/tonne (a special) but Ken advised I would need 3x the amount and it would be harder to work with, etc. so to stick with the thinner stuff.

(May I just add that I tried to buy locally as I want to support local businesses as our family is a local business too but all places close to us either did not sell flagstone, or were 4-5x the price!! Also, because many people think they can run a business on trade skills alone and have no one looking after the business side of things, I left many messages which were not returned in more than 24 hours.)
I am not a picky person and though I obviously want to save money if possible, price is not the only consideration, as I think I have established. Customer service is HUGE with me. I am willing to pay more if my experience is positive and I can support a local/small business.

Today one of the local businesses calls me back.
"Hello Tara?"
"Yes?"
"This is **** from **** returning your call, I don't sell flagstone"
(pause, waiting for recommendations as to who may... none come)
"Oh ok"
"Who have you looked into?"
"Well, pretty much everyone in the area." (I mention various local towns within an hour's distance) "I found places varying from $155-$550/tonne! Lions Head Stone said they had it for $155 so I think we're going to go with that." (Thinking he'll be happy I researched and found myself a decent deal, I mean, we're talking rocks here...)
"Oh, well you may want to reconsider when you take shipping into consideration."
"Well, Jackson's offered to do it for $**/hour and everyone else wanted over $100!"
(Thinking he will like that I am promoting local businesses...)
(SEVERE TONE CHANGE) "Well, obviously your main concern in cost and all flagstone is not the same!! I have given you some advice and you can do with it what you want but I have other things to do so I'm going now, good bye"
(shocked at sudden severe change in tone) "Uh, ok... thanks, bye."

I ALMOST called back to chew him out for being an ignorant "donkey" who obviously has a complex of some sort... but deemed him unworthy of the call and am going to tell everyone I meet about his bad service. Conveniently, we live in a small community where word of mouth is everything...

Did I do something wrong? I understand that you get what you pay for but to pay 5x the price for the same product seems VERY ridiculous to me. When I get excellent, prompt, professional and helpful service (which includes giving me information which may not benefit them directly, but greatly benefits me, the customer) I'm going to go for it. If you think it's a bad idea, well by all means explain to me why!! I am an intelligent person and can be persuaded if what I am told makes sense and is more beneficial in the long run, etc!

If you want to know this guy, message me, I'll tell you so you can avoid his ignoramus ways.

Cloth Diapering

2008-07-03T18:55:00.003-04:00

Long before I got pregnant I wanted to use cloth diapers. My Mum used them with us when we were little (and we turned out reasonably ok ;) and the environmental impact was too great to not at least seriously look into it.

Nowadays, pins are a thing of the past and cloth diapers are all snaps or velcro! (I prefer velcro) and they are very easy to use. I throw mine in the machine on "heavy duty" and then right in the dryer. Piece of cake :) They are made of a lovely soft cotton and feel so nice on the skin :)

Many people ask me, "Doesn't that make so much more laundry?" and really it doesn't. I probably do two extra loads a week and considering all the extra laundry having a baby brings anyway, what's a couple more? It helps a lot that our laundry room is in our upstairs bathroom, right across the hall from Jude's room :)

I found this article online about the pros and cons. I have added my 2 cents where necessary ;)

Cloth Diapers versus Disposable Diapers - Pros and Cons

One of the first decisions you’ll make as a new parent, is whether to use disposable or cloth diapers.

Your baby will spend around 25,000 hours in a diaper and need about 6000 diaper changes in their first years of life.
Your decision to use disposable or cloth diapers will not only have a great impact on your baby’s comfort and health; it can also impact the environment and your finances.

Of course there are pros and cons for each one, and many have strong beliefs that one is better than another. In the end, it’s a decision only you and your family can make, so being informed is very important.

The Pros & Cons of Disposable Diapers:

Disposable diapers have been around since the sixties. The actual first mention was made in 1942, but they didn’t become popular until the early sixties. Their popularity has grown in abundance over the years, and they have seen many changes.

The Pros:-

• Ease of use; disposables seem like the easier choice. They are an all-in-one product, with less fuss than cloth.

• Throw-away; disposables can be thrown away once used, unlike cloth which will need to be washed.

• Easy to travel with; disposables are the easy choice to use when traveling. (and when we travel we do use disposable, as well as over night so we don't have to wake Jude up to change him)

• Leak less; disposables tend to leak less than cloth. They have a tight, snug fit and are very absorbent. (I guess this is true, but if this happens, you should have changed it a long time ago! Some diapers are better than others too. I like the ones with the plastic covers as they hold everything in more nicely)

The Cons:-

• More expensive; over the years you will probably spend around $1500 diapering your baby in disposables. (YA!!! At $20 for 50-60 diapers and you go through like 8 a day, it's a lot of $$$ It's actually more like $1ooo+ a year!!)

• Bad for the environment; it is estimated that around 5 million tons of untreated waste is deposited into landfills via disposables every year. (AND they take like 200+ years to decompose!)

• Harder to potty-train; toddlers can’t feel wetness as much with disposables, so it’s harder for them to potty-train. I'll let you know!

• More diaper-rash; according to one study, 78% of babies in disposable diapers get diaper-rash, compared to only 7% of cloth diapered babies. In 6 months, Jude's never had a diaper rash.

• Babies health; the chemical used to make the super-absorbency of disposable diapers is Sodium polyacrylate, which has been linked to TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome) and can cause allergic reactions. Eeeeeek!

The Pros and Cons of Cloth Diapers:

Cloth diapering has been around since the age of time. It has had many changes over the years, and continues to grow in popularity. Some cloth diapers now have double or triple layers and a multiply, fiber-filled strip, making them more absorbent than older styles.

The Pros:-

• It’s cheaper; cloth diapers can be expensive for the initial set-up ($250-$700), but in the long run they work out a lot cheaper than disposables, depending on what system you use. You can get them cheaper if you buy them off of ebay or kijiji!

• Less diaper-rash; cloth diapered babies tend to have less diaper-rash, because natural cotton fibers breathe more easily.

• Can be used for subsequent children; works out even cheaper because you can use for any more children you have. Heck yes you can!!

• Cloth diapered children tend to potty-train earlier, because the cloth tends to hold moisture closer to baby’s skin.

The Cons:-

• Usually fastened with diaper pins, but you can now find ones with Velcro or snap fasteners. Not applicable, you don't even need pins, they have closure things that work in their place with not pins :D

• Some daycare centers won’t want to use them. True, but I am not going to be using daycare...

• Not good for traveling with; can be messy and not appropriate for travel. Most cloth-diaper users will use disposables when traveling or just being out and about. Not so much messy, but smelly and who wants to carry around dirty diapers?

• Can leak more than disposables; if not used properly. See above.

Overall, making the decision to use disposable diapers or cloth diapers is a personal one. There is no one right answer for everyone. Choose what is best for you and your family and your schedule.

So, what do you think?

"Man Code"

2008-06-25T10:54:00.002-04:00

Nathan and I really like the show "Rules of Engagement". Our favourite character is the married guy. We love his one liners (Nathan I think because he would like to add them to his repertoire) but anyway, if you have never seen the show you should check it out. It's pretty cute :)

Anyway, this week was a rerun but an interesting show none-the-less. It was an episode about "Man Code". Personally, I think Man Code is geh. Why is it if a guy cheats on his wife, it's MAN CODE to not say anything? (this happened in the show, don't get worried on me now). MAN CODE dictates a lot of things like, taking a whole lotta crap and then just beating the crap out of each other. Unless of course the crap comes from an authority figure (or someone who thinks they are) and then you just have to take it.

This is from the show's website CBS:

Season 2: Episode 04: Guy Code

Audrey invites a woman she knows from work, Katy, and her husband, Ray, over for dinner. At first, Jeff is concerned that Ray is just going to be another "tool," but his opinion quickly changes when he finds out how cool he is. When the girls decide to watch TV, Ray suggests that he and Jeff go down to a sports bar to check out a game. However, instead of a sports bar, Ray takes Jeff to a strip club, where Ray proceeds to overindulge with the ladies. When Jeff returns home he tells Audrey what happened but insists that she keep quiet about it, as it is information protected by "guy code." Furious with Ray for basically cheating on Katy, Audrey does not want to hang out with Ray anymore but Jeff insists they enjoy Ray's corporate skybox. However, Jeff is quick to dismiss Ray after he plays a prank on Jeff that violates "guy code".

I don't really know where I am going with this, there are a lot of "irks" I would like to discuss but apparently people can find just about anything on the internet and I don't want to get anyone (me, specifically-ha ha) in trouble.

What do you guys think about MAN CODE? Also, what do you think of the show "Rules of Engagement"?

Momhood: 5.75 Months In

2008-06-24T11:30:00.004-04:00

I'm a little late this month, sorry.

Being a mom continues to be a great experience. I know everyone says that and so when I say it I can also proceed it with a, you'll never really understand until you have your own kids. I am not really a fan of most people's kids. It's not that I dislike them, I just find my own child more interesting, cute, etc. I think everyone feels this way. Those who don't are liars ;) There are other people's children I enjoy but I'm not going to name names, ha ha.

Firsts this month include:
1. Sitting up consistently on his own.
2. Rolling from his back to his front! (June 13)
3. Avid Jolly Jumper use with enjoyment!

4. Making "pfft!" sounds with his mouth. These are quite funny and he usually makes them when he is miffed, bored or occupying himself in his crib. Very cute.

Jude's eating solids everyday now. He rather enjoys them! I made some homemade veggies with the blender since baby food is retarded expensive (like 69 cents for one of those little itty-bitty jars!!), but he doesn't like the texture!! I guess we'll wait awhile and try again in a couple of weeks.
He still loves everyone but he played strange with Grandma when she got him up from a nap this past Sunday. It was only for few seconds but I think it was because he was expecting Nathan or I to get him from his nap (as per usual).

Jude's got a sweet blow-up pool that he has been enjoying in the hot weather. He likes to lounge around and splash in it. It's quite cute.

Last time we weighed him he was up to ~21lbs!! He's slowing down though, his clothes are fitting longer (Phewf!) and seem to fit as well as they did a few weeks ago, so that's good! Don't want an Andre the Giant baby!

Love that Lasts a Lifetime? Sometimes!

2008-06-19T15:04:00.005-04:00

Recently, I have run into a variety of elderly people.
My experience with the elderly has varied between two extremes: the loving, polite, sincere kind and the rude, self-absorbed kind.

I am happy to say that most (with the exception of my own grandparents who skipped my mom's birthday party because they didn't "feel" like it) are lovely and this week I have run into possibly some of the cutest old people ever.

Monday I was at Shoppers' and the cutest old man (80s?) came up to Jude and I and "awed" and "ooed" all over him. He was so sweet! He then told me how he didn't have ANY grandchildren!! I thought, "WHAT A WASTE!!". He was with his (2nd?) wife who then told me she had 13 or something like that and that in addition to her own children she had fostered like 26 children in her life!!
As I was packing my car I noticed them across the parking lot and the man was opening the car door for his wife!!! Ok, who's husband still does that???

Skip to today (Friday).
Nathan and I are in London shopping, making our way to the Zellers' restaurant (highly underrated by the way) and this cute old couple were holding hands as they walked through Zellers. The man had grabbed his wife's hand as they approached a thickening crowd of people so they wouldn't get separated. Cute.

So, love does last a lifetime. I hope Nathan and I will be half this cute to people in their 30s (eeek) when we reach our "ripe old ages".

The Importance of Being Ernest (or sorry as the case may be)

2008-06-16T18:38:00.003-04:00

When Nathan and I first started dating we had quite the time figuring out how to communicate with each other. Nathan was a very abrupt, confrontational person whereas I was a "ignore it until it goes away and brood in your room" type person. I think we fought for a year straight. We drove each other (and I'm pretty sure everyone around us) crazy. I don't know how we managed to stay together actually...
Obviously our families and growing up with them played a huge role in how we communicated in our relationship.
Recently, Nathan and I encountered one of those "bumps" that happen sporadically throughout one's marriage. Ours are generally few and far between but this one seems to be rather stubborn and reoccurring. It reared it's ugly head again last week and I realized that the whole problem stems from the same thing we had such a hard time figuring out when we were dating 8 years ago.

So, let me know what you think.

I grew up in a house where the parents were the ultimate authority figure and you could fight it, but when push came to shove, you either liked it or... well, you liked it. There were freak outs and fights but generally the gloves stayed on and nothing too earth shattering came from it. Hitting below the belt, name-calling etc. were unspoken no-nos. One or more person would be upset, not too much got resolved and that was the way it was. Suck it up buttercup.

Now, Nathan grew up in a house where the kids were a little more "vocal" about their unhappiness and did not back down when the opportunity to defend one's self came up. Saying what was on your mind and disregard for how the receiver felt was normal. You were angry, someone made you angry and they needed to be punished. End of story. There was no reconciliation because at the end of the day they knew they loved each other and there was no need for apologies.

Enter Nathan and Tara circa 2000.

As you can imagine, these two types of resolving conflict were a train wreck waiting to happen. We both came a long way and in the end I think we're doing a pretty fabulous job :)

What saved us? One word. "Sorry"

It took Nathan much longer to learn the importance of this word than it did me. We all know it's because I'm a girl and that's what girls say, whether it's their fault or not.

Anyway, Nathan thought this word was "stupid". His main argument was always, "But I'm not sorry!! I think everything I said was true, right, etc." The reason I wanted him to say sorry though was not because I wanted him to say he was wrong (one mountain to climb at at time folks!) but to acknowledge that what he did/say hurt me and he was SORRY for that. Sorry that I had been hurt in his anger, the argument or whatever. It was like pulling teeth!! "Well they're just WORDS!! You know I'm sorry, why do you need me to say it??" I got every argument in the book and came up with a resounding, "Because it lets me know that YOU know you hurt me and that you are sorry you did!!"
Even the infamous Nathan couldn't argue with that!

We joke about it today.
I'll say, "I want to hear the words"
To which he'll reply, "I love you?"
"No, the OTHER words"
"You're hot?"
"No..."
"I'm sorry."
We both smile and know that things are ok. We don't have to agree but we do have to make sure each of us feels loved and safe to disagree at the end of the day.

I know it's two words but they mean a lot. They stand for the things that we don't have to say because we know we love each other but they also stand for the respect and love we have for each other.
We want to make sure we each are ok.

Bathroom Reno

2008-06-04T15:53:00.005-04:00

I forgot to post these pics when we originally started the bathroom renos. Erin's sister's renos have reminded me how far we're come. They are nothing like hers but I'm still pretty impressed at the changes!
Although we still need to re-tile the floor and do some baseboards (wainscoting?) you can see it's a HUGE improvement!

I Can't Sleep AGAIN!!!

2008-05-27T05:16:00.000-04:00

One Hundred Random Things.

1. What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank?
White wine

2. Are you registered to vote?
yes

3. Who took this survey before you?
Some guy I don’t know but noticed he tagged Laura

4. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Shelley-Ann

5. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
Last summer!

7. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Smitty’s Fine Furniture

8. Where do you work?
Our house

9. Where do you live?
Kincardine

10. Last thing you ate?
Popcorn ☺

11. Want to kick anyone's butt?
Not currently…

12. What time is it?
4:55am!!!!!!!! I can’t sleep!!

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
My engagement ring ☺

14. AIM or MSN?
MSN

15. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Pffft! No, because I would totally win every time and it’s unfair to the others.

16. How many hours on average do you work a week?
24/7 (hhaaaaa, being a mom & wife)

17. Who do you like?
Nathan Byle

18. Do you watch the Olympics?
Yes, but only certain events and the opening and closing ceremonies

19. Last restaurant you went to?
It’s sad… KFC

20. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope.

21. Who was the last person to call you?
Dan Kelley ☺

22. What's your zodiac sign?
Taurus-I’m soooo Taurus!

23. What is in your wallet?
Various cards

24. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Read & well, you don’t want to know…

25. Where do you spend most your money?
ING mortgage

26. Where does your family live?
Mostly Ontario, some Scotland and some Australia

27. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
One brother, Brett, he’s pretty cool

28. Ever been called a hoe/slut?
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaa! Ya ok…

29. Ever been called a bitch?
Ya

31. What is the Simpsons character you can't stand?
(Um, that grammar is atrocious!!)
I like them all.

32. When was the last time you drove out of town?
Today!

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
Well, I liked the mini ones from MacDonald’s

34. Collect anything?
Um…..nope

35. MySpace or Facebook?
HAAAAAAAAAAAA! Like I even have to answer this question.

36. Do you have T-Mobile?
Nope, what is that?

37. Who was the last person you hugged?
Nathan Byle

38. How do you feel about the last person you kissed?
He’s my baby boy- I love him

39. Who has the best ice cream?
I don’t know…

40. What movie do you know every line to?
Anchor Man :D

41. Last time you saw your parents?
Sunday ☺

42. What was your last fist fight about?
LAST fist fight???!? Um, I’ve never been in A fist fight, much less a LAST one!

43. Ever been to a wedding?
Yes.

44. What are your plans for tomorrow?
Clean, feed, love

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?
My sleep!

47. Did you take a nap today?
Sadly, no

48. How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Um, 5? I’m hoping to go back to bed though…

49. Are you a stalker?
No, but totally Creeper

50. What's something you want to do right now?
I thought I answered this…. Sleep!

51. What personality trait is a must in your preferred gender?
Integrity

52. What is your goal for the year?
Um… LOL! Well, it involves surgery… ;)

53. When was the last time you cried? Why?
When I was giving birth-OUCH!

54. When was the last time you saw a rabbit?
Um, In my neighbours’ yard. It’s their pet ☺

55. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?
yessss

56. Do you support the troops?
Ya but not the war

57. Could you handle being in the military?
Don’t think so…

58. THIRSTY?
Ya, actually…

59. Favorite fast food restaurant?
MacDonald’s, Taco Bell, Harvey’s, Pita Pit (I have to pick one??)

60. What food are you craving right now?
Any of the above would be good ☺

61. Does your curiosity ever get the best of you?
No, but my nosiness does!

62. Do you own a camera phone?
Ya…(geh question)

63. Ever had to take a sobriety test?
Nope, but I’ve been stopped by RIDE, does that count?

64. What makes you feel safe?
Nathan Byle

65. What is the last movie you watched?
The Golden Compass (it was very confusing and weird)

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
Ppffffffffffffffffffffft!

67. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
Donno… I think I liked all of my teachers

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use?
Nope

69. Last place you were at?
Smitty’s

70. What is your current wish?
To have surgery ;)

71. Are you touchy-feely?
Only with Nathan and Jude-a

72. List two bad habits ?
Swearing. Negativity.

73. What's your favorite juice?
Orange.

74. Where do you wish you were right now?
Bed!!!!!!!!

75. Do you have any regrets?
Nope

76. What's a relationship mistake you tend to repeat?
Holding grudges

77. How old are your parents?
69 and 63

78. Juicy Juice?
That’s a question???

79. What is the main ringtone on your cell phone?
“Thriller” by Micheal Jackson and the Indiana Jones Soundtrack ☺

80. Favorite place to be?
With my husb and baby

81. What's your birthstone?
Emerald

82. Favorite sit-down restaurant?
Del Dente’s

83. Ever been to Disney Land/World?
No ☹

84. When you put on your pants do you button & zip or zip & button?
Button then zip

85. Do you kiss on the first date?
I didn’t have a whole lot of those… can’t remember…

86. How is the weather today?
Beautiful!

87. Do you e-mail?
Seriously, who doesn’t have email??

89. If there was an extra hour in the day, what would you spend it doing?
Spending quality time with Nathan

90. Have you seen Georgia Rule?
No, is she nice?

91. Last voice mail you received?
RSVP from Jessica Kelley ☺

92. Do you drunk dial?
No LOL

93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Drop in on the driveway?

94. Do you like Dane Cook?
Who?

95. Last time you were sick?
Don’t remember…

96. Who is the blondest person you know?
Erin Monett!!

97. What is your favorite kind of car?
Honda Element

98. Who would you most like to see fill this out?
Whoever

99. Ready for the weekend?
What is there to be ready for?

100. Name two things you did last night?
Eat and drink ☺ Probably too much of both!

Momhood: 4 Months In

2008-05-14T21:29:00.007-04:00

Wow, has it really been four months already??

Jude has stared "talking" a lot. He does this cute high-pitched "Aaaahhhh" when he is by himself that can turn into more cooing and gurgling if he's happy or whining if he's not.
He sat up the other day!! We were eating take-out Chinese at Mom Byle's house for Mother's Day and he was sitting up in my lap so I tried sitting him on the floor by himself and he stayed up! Now, he was very bent-over, but he stayed balanced! It was very cool, such a nice Mother's Day gift!

Speaking of Mother's Day, how cool was it to have my 1st? I got to give a sort of "New Mom Interview" at church and it was neat to share what I have experienced and then hear what a mom of 64 years has experienced!! I always wondered if moms really cared about Mother's Day, you know, is it cheesy, etc? I have to say that it felt really nice to know that not only my own family (which is pretty much Nathan, as Jude can't really "appreciate" me yet) know and appreciate the stuff we moms do.

Jude had also mastered rolling over from his tummy to his back, but only the one way. We often find him smushed to one side of his crib cooing away with this confused, "how-did-I-get-here?" expression on his face. Very cute! This also means that we have to make sure the side of the crib is always up (even though he rolls the other way, we obviously don't want to take any chances) and that he is getting out of even the tightest swaddles! ha ha
What else? Oh, Jude now goes for 8 hours in the night between feedings which is really nice. He still had the habit of waking once between the feedings but can be lulled back to sleep in a matter of minutes.
I have discovered this parenting thing has made me a much bigger mush when it comes to kid scenes in movies, etc. I totally get that, "It's MY baby" thing.
We tested out some rice cereal with Jude this month. He didn't really know what to do with it and I think more got all over his face than in his mouth. It's ok, we're not in a rush or anything, he just seemed interested so we tried it out.
We're going for Jude's 4 month check-up on Friday-I hate the needles!! How can I support him when I hate getting them MORE than he does? I guess that's a "being a mom" thing I'll have to learn...

A Good Reminder...

2008-05-01T22:19:00.000-04:00

Thought this was a good reminder:

Ephesians 4

To Be Mature

1-3In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.

4-6You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness.

7-13But that doesn't mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift. The text for this is,

He climbed the high mountain,
He captured the enemy and seized the booty,
He handed it all out in gifts to the people.
Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ's followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ's body, the church, until we're all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.

14-16No prolonged infancies among us, please. We'll not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are an easy mark for impostors. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love.

Outdoor Room at Maison Byle

2008-04-20T21:42:00.002-04:00

Our backyard lawn is fubar so we're thinking outdoor room. We're going to Tim-Br Mart to check out deck/patio options and we are all over the pergola, outdoor fireplace, sitting and eating areas with bar and side gardens.
We're hoping the end result will look something like this...

Momhood: 3.5 Months In

2008-04-16T16:54:00.002-04:00

I have to write an additional Mom blog this month as I am reading this book and it is definitely challenging everything I have been doing thus far!

The book is called, "Babywise" and it is definitely a more traditional method of child rearing. My friend Elisa lent it to me with the that I may not agree with it and don't have to either, but it's got some good stuff to say.

So, as with most books, I try to keep an open mind.

Babywise starts off by saying that the big mistake most parents make is that they make children the centre of their lives and the kids know it. The book then states that from birth you need to let your children know they are very important but mommy and daddy's marriage is most important! Now to some of you purists, you probably think this is on par with blasphemy but hear the guy out...
When children know that mommy and daddy are the most important thing to each other they feel secure knowing that their family is solid and committed. I don't know about you, but when I was little and my parents fought, I felt so afraid and definitely not safe.
The author isn't saying kids are not important, but kids need to know that the world does not revolve around them. Hmmm... something a FEW kids AND parents could learn from I think!

Next comes the sleeping stuff... parent guided routines. I like it! Not child centred or parent centred but parent LED since we apparently are the wiser of the two... go figure!

Anyway, I'm holding Jude now so typing speed is drastically reduced. I'll let you know how things are going in a couple of weeks!

Type A or Type B?

2008-04-11T13:07:00.007-04:00

Recently had a funny discussion concerning Type-A people. My friend didn't know she was Type-A which I found very interesting because though I know little about the subject I was pretty sure (like %100) she was Type-A.
She then said, based on what I said Type-A was, that I was Type-A. I didn't think so but I took a test online to make sure.... here are my results :)

Results of Your Type A Personality Test

	Personality Type

Your score = 17

What does your score mean?

You seem to be far from having a Type A personality. Your attitude to life is more of the "smell the roses" kind. You know how and when to relax. The hostile, aggressive and competitive part of you surfaces rarely. You are easy to be around, and people tend to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence. It's a very healthy attitude towards life. Just make sure you don't miss important opportunities because of being too cool and relaxed. Picking up a challenge and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can add some spice to your life.About Type A and Type B Personality

And for those of you who want to know what the criteria for the two types are:

According to scientific literature, Type A behavior is characterized by an intense and sustained drive to achieve goals and an eagerness to compete. Personalities categorized as Type A tend to have a persistent desire for external recognition and advancement. They are involved in various functions that bring about time restrictions. Such personalities have a tendency to speed up mental and physical tasks with extraordinary mental and physical alertness. These characteristics make for super-achievers and high-powered people.

Type A individuals can get a lot done and have the potential to really move ahead in the world. But there is a high price to pay. Certain components of such a personality can inhibit happiness and even threaten health. For example, the goals that Type A folks set are often poorly defined and therefore hard to achieve—a perfect recipe for misery.

Type A is also characterized by a general discontentedness and the impulse to be overly critical and demanding, even contemptuous of imperfection, in the self and others. This focus on negative aspects and the accompanying bursts of hostility and impatience result in guilt, remorse and anxiety.

Type A personalities are motivated by external sources (instead of by inner motivation), such as material reward and appreciation from others. Type A folks experience a constant sense of opposition, wariness, and apprehension--they are always ready for battle. And anyone can imagine how this constant (and very exhausting) existence would deplete reserves of contentment and happiness and disrupt personal equilibrium.

Although the literature is somewhat inconsistent because of problems with the conceptualization and definition of Type A behavior pattern, it has been linked to higher risks of cardiovascular diseases. The risks seemed to be reduced with intervention aimed at reducing Type A behavior. Indeed, those with a high Type A score would be happier and healthier if they were to file down the jagged edges of their personality. By learning how to control the negative behavior patterns while preserving their drive, Type A people can be successful without sacrificing their emotional well-being.

Type B behavior is usually defined as the absence of Type A behavior. Type B personalities are relaxed and have a laid-back attitude and posture. They are friendly, accepting, patient, at ease, and generally content. They are at peace with themselves and others. They show a general sense of harmony with people, events, and life circumstances. They tend to be trusting. They focus on the positive aspects of things, people and events. Type B folks are self-encouraging, have inner motivation, are stable and have a pleasant mood. They are interested in others and accept trivial mistakes. They have an accepting attitude about trivial mistakes and a problem-solving attitude about major mistakes. They are flexible and good team members. The Type B person is able to lead and be led.

So I am TOTALLY NOT Type-A... but I know a few people who are :)

Why don't you try it?
http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/questions/type_a_personality_1.html

RIP Uncle Billy

2008-04-11T11:46:00.004-04:00

My Uncle Billy died today at about 9am.

He's not my real uncle, he's one of those family friends that you can't just call by his first name because it doesn't show enough love.

Anyway, he has been struggling with cancer the past year and though I have not seen him in this time, I have heard various updates from my mum and dad concerning his welfare. It was pretty sad to know someone I have known my whole life was in such pain and there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't even really appropriate for me to visit as he didn't really feel up to visitors.

When Jude was born I really wanted to bring him to meet Uncle Billy, but he was too sick. I knew he would have LOVED Jude and Jude would have loved him. It makes my heart hurt to know they never got to meet.

So who was my Uncle Billy?

Uncle Billy wore the biggest cowboys boots ever! He was the only person I knew (until High School) that did! He has curly fire red hair down to the nape of his neck and drove a candy red Cadillac that was always shiny!
Uncle Billy has the best laugh ever! Right from the bottom of his gut and loud enough you could hear it through the whole house!
Uncle Billy was the man who had a real curling rock on his front porch and when I tried to lift it I couldn't and it was SO cool because I had never seen one before or since! (well, except on TV of course...)
Uncle Billy was the guy who showed up at our house one summer evening with all his clothes in the back of his car because his wife left him and he didn't know where else to go.
Uncle Billy was the guy who drove truck for years and years and one day brought his truck to show us and it was HUGE! He had a sticker with an alligator in a bikini with a strike through it on the door and when we asked what it was he said it meant, "No gator girls" to which we of course asked, "What are gator girls??" and he just said to ask our dad.
Uncle Billy and his new wife Syl (who was SO great to him-they had a frog-themed wedding) GAVE me their car when my dad was too much of a jerk to let me use his. He also had no qualms about telling my dad off when he was being a jerk-one of a very select few who could!
Uncle Billy was my dad's oldest and best friend in the whole world.

There are other things I remember about my Uncle Billy, but I think these are the best.
RIP Uncle Billy, I love you.

Momhood: 3 Months In

2008-04-07T22:08:00.006-04:00

3 months! I made it!!
Still love being a mom. It is a really neat job :) Still trying out new things and soliciting advice from other moms. It's interesting how people can feel so strongly about different ways to do the baby thing. I don't want to say "raise" babies, as you don't really have to "teach" them so much right now, just make them feel cherished and loved. Although... that too is up for debate!
Recently, we tried a new regime of eat, play and then sleep as opposed to eat, sleep and play. It is miraculous how well it works! In addition to this, I have also re-implemented swaddling Jude when he goes to sleep. Although it's harder now that he is much bigger (15lbs 11oz!!), I just make sure the ends are underneath him so he can't pull his arms out. This is also a huge huge help in getting him to sleep soundly as he can't startle himself awake or jerk when I set him in his crib. The final chapter in the sleep book is humming and rocking Jude to sleep. After a clean diaper and tight swaddle, I turn out the lights/close the blinds and hum some quiet songs and rock him until he falls asleep.
So far this has been especially great for naps! He is sleeping at least an hour and a half at a time during the day! Nigh time sleep still varies from 4-7 hours.

I guess that is all about that.
This month's firsts include, smiling, laughing, reaching/grabbing, finding his hands, looking in the direction of sounds and the initiation of the Jolly Jumper!

Lots of excitement for us :D

I'm Special

2008-03-27T20:21:00.000-04:00

because Gemma reads my blog :D

Cuteness

2008-03-20T17:36:00.001-04:00

Random Jude cuteness :)

Random Tree Aputations

2008-03-20T17:06:00.005-04:00

I was sitting in my living room today when all of a sudden a large truck with one of those Skyjack buckets pulled up in front of our house blocking our driveway. Three people came out of the truck and started looking at the tree in the front corner of our yard. THEN some guy gets in the bucket with a chainsaw and goes up to the tree. He proceeds to cut down various small branches (nothing too exciting) which the lady picks up and throws in the wood chipper they have at the back of the truck and then they drive away to the next worthy tree on our street.
Nobody came to tell me this was going on, if it was ok to block the driveway, etc. Not that I cared but seems like something you would want to tell people.
Strange.
(ps. I don't know why these pics arn't rotated... they were on my computer)